10 Type Secrets of the INFJ Personality Type

The INFJ is the rarest of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, making up only 1-2 percent of the population. People who identify as INFJs are deeply complex, highly sensitive individuals. They ask the questions that others aren’t asking, such as, “Why are we here?” and “What is the meaning of this life we live?”

In relationships, INFJs can be warm and friendly. They are generally well-liked by the people who are privileged to know them. Yet at other times, they can be distant and analytical, retreating into themselves. INFJs often grow up feeling profoundly different from other people. They care deeply about others and like being a part of a community. Yet because of their “big picture” perspective on life, they may always feel like an outsider looking in.

Like a rose, INFJs have many layers. They will probably not reveal all those layers to you right away. However, the longer you are in an INFJ’s life — and if an INFJ trusts you — the more petals you will discover, all the while moving further inward toward the core of the INFJ’s true self. Sometimes even INFJs don’t fully understand themselves. So let’s take a look at some of the “secrets” of what it means to be an INFJ personality type:

1. INFJs feel profoundly misunderstood.

INFJs, do you feel like people rarely “get” you? When you start to talk about something you care about, do you notice others failing to grasp why it really matters? If so, you’re not alone. Many INFJs feel deeply misunderstood.

The reason many people are not on the same wave-length as the INFJ is because the INFJ’s dominant function is Introverted Intuition (Ni). (A personality type’s “dominant function” is the primary way that person takes in and processes information. It’s the main way a person interacts with the world.) Ni subconsciously notices patterns; specifically, INFJs notice patterns related to human nature, because their secondary function, Extroverted Feeling (Fe), orients them toward people. Ni works mysteriously and subconsciously. It allows the INFJ to know information without knowing why or how they know it.

PH circle 2What’s your personality type? Knowing your type can help you leverage your natural strengths. Take the free test from our partner Personality Hacker.

Their “sixth sense” can be difficult to explain to other people, says personality profiler Antonia Dodge, who co-owns Personality Hacker. Often INFJs give up trying to explain their ability. Or they don’t try at all, because they know how unusual it sounds. This leaves them feeling isolated and misunderstood.

2. INFJs absorb other people’s emotions.

INFJs, has this ever happened to you? You’re going through life, feeling fine. But then, a close friend calls you. She’s really struggling with something — she and her boyfriend broke up, or her boss insulted her. The more you talk, the more you feel your own mood deflating. When you get off the phone, you’re rattled and preoccupied with anxious thoughts.

This situation happens frequently to INFJs, says Dodge, because they tend to take on other people’s emotions. No other Myers-Briggs personality type has this unique ability. Some INFJs even report absorbing the emotions of strangers. An INFJ may suddenly feel grumpy, only to look around the room and discover a grumpy-looking person has just walked in. The closer the person is emotionally to the INFJ, like a spouse or best friend, the more likely it is that the INFJ will absorb that person’s mental state.

To feel not only your own strong emotions, but those of other people, too, can be overwhelming. But the INFJ’s ability can also be used to bring emotional healing and comfort to others. “The ability to unconsciously absorb other people’s emotions with very little information to go on — how is that not a super power?” says Dodge. “INFJs have the ability to get inside the suffering of others and tell them it’s going to be okay.”

3. INFJs have amazing long-range forecasting abilities.

Sometimes INFJs may feel like prophets or fortune-tellers. That’s because Ni helps them see the big picture, notice patterns, and make predictions for the future based on the patterns they’ve observed. For example, let’s say an INFJ meets a new love interest. Right away — possibly within minutes — they start predicting where the relationship could go. Could they see themselves marrying this person or would it just be a fling? If they don’t think the relationship will bring the desired outcome, “they may immediately cut themselves off from that relationship,” explains Joel Mark Witt, co-owner of Personality Hacker. However, INFJs are not actually psychic. They see what could be — not necessarily what will happen with absolute certainty. But mature INFJs have honed their forecasting abilities well.

4. Though they are Feelers, INFJs can easily access their Thinking ability.

INFJs often mistype as INTJs, the “Thinking” twin of the INFJ. Although INFJs are indeed people-oriented, due to their third function, Introverted Thinking (Ti), they are also analytical and scientific. They may enjoy careers in technology, the sciences, and research. Because Fe is second in their functional stack and Ti is third, these two functions are fairly balanced in the INFJ. Indeed, INFJs don’t outwardly appear as emotional as an ENFJ or ESFJ, whose Feeling function is their dominant function. An INFJ might lament that they are “too emotional for the Thinkers but too logical for the Feelers.” But this common sense comes in handy, making INFJs generally balanced and well-rounded.

5. One of their greatest strengths is their ability to create intimacy.

In the presence of casual acquaintances, INFJs might come across as quiet and reserved. Remember, they usually don’t open up to people right away. But INFJs are actually extremely relational. Because they can feel other people’s pain and joy, they are able to truly walk in another person’s shoes like no other personality type can. This ability to empathize creates strong bonds of intimacy, says Dodge.

6. INFJs are true introverts.

INFJs are sometimes called the “extroverted introverts.” They get this nickname because they can be passionate, enthusiastic, and talkative when they are in the presence of someone they feel comfortable with. Likewise, when they are fighting for a cause they believe in — like asking people to sign a petition to end animal abuse — they may come across as extroverts. However, INFJs are true introverts who prefer to have a small circle of friends. Just like any introvert, they need plenty of downtime to recharge their batteries.

7. INFJs are sensitive to conflict.

Fe makes INFJs seek harmony in their relationships. They strive to create good feelings whenever they interact with someone. So when conflict arises — especially in close relationships — INFJs can become extremely distressed. They may have trouble sleeping or lose focus at school or work. They may even feel the stress of the conflict physically in their bodies, getting headaches, muscle aches, upset stomaches, etc. This does not mean INFJs should avoid conflict by becoming passive pushovers or constant people-pleasers. INFJs should set boundaries and stick up for their own needs. They can do this in a way that’s diplomatic, using the warmth and understanding that flow naturally from their Fe.

8. INFJs know a lot about people.

Ni and Fe work together to gather information about people. But INFJs don’t just remember when someone’s birthday is or how they take their coffee; INFJs use Ni to penetrate below the surface. They get into other people’s heads and figure out what makes them tick. For example, they understand that the emotional pain their friend is experiencing stems not just from their ex’s recent unkind words but also from a deep fear of not feeling valued. They often know when someone is lying even to themselves. INFJs are not consciously aware of how they know so much about other people, and they rarely reveal the depth of their knowledge.

9. Many relationships are one-sided for INFJs.

INFJs tend to be great listeners because they truly care about other people. Likewise, they enjoy helping others understand their emotions and grow. They’re nicknamed “the Counselor” for a reason. Unfortunately, this may result in the INFJ’s relationships becoming one-sided. Other people come to the INFJ when they need to vent. Or they may take advantage of the INFJ’s desire to help. One day, the INFJ wakes up and wonders why their relationships are so draining. The people in the INFJ’s life are getting so much out of the relationship but the INFJ is getting little in return. What INFJs need is relationships that are a two-way exchange of fulfillment, support, and understanding.

10. INFJs are looking for their soul mates.

INFJs desire to connect deeply with others. Shallow, one-sided relationships won’t do. Likewise, because they are introverts, they have limited social energy. So INFJs look for friends or a partner who are their “soul mates.” These are people who truly click with the INFJ and can feed their very real need for authentic connection, intimacy, and meaningful conversation. However, INFJs often struggle to create the kind of relationships they desire. When they do find people with whom they truly connect, it feels like a miracle.

Did you enjoy this article? Subscribe to our newsletter just for INFJs to get more stories like this. retina_favicon1

Read this: The INFJs Owner’s Manual: 5 Things You Should Know About Your Personality Type

  • 100% accurate. Amazing article, loved it!

  • Chrissie

    This is so me, it’s scary. My question is: are there certain personality types that tend to become the “soulmates” from #10? I’ve only met a few people I truly connect with in my life (maybe only 1, really), and I wish there was a way to seek others out…

    • Lantzer

      ENFPs are supposedly the jelly to our peanut butter, hehe. When I first learned I was an INFJ, I stumbled upon entire internet forums of ENFPs hunting for INFJs to connect with (and vice verse, but we’re a little more rare).

      I was stunned (but also kind of not surprised) that my hands-down-forever partner was, in fact, an ENFP. *score*

      • I have also heard ENFP’s are supposed to be our types but every single one I’ve ever met was intensely annoying. I doubt it’s a one-size fit’s all thing. Frankly, NT’s attract me very much and INFP’s.

        • holly

          Ive met lots of ENFPs. My best friend of 12 years is one. Definitely my soulmate. But i have met a handful of ENFPs whom i cannot stand. It really depends on the person. I hope you can meet one you like because they truly are amazing.

        • From my own experience: INTJ can be a great match as well 🙂

      • i’d never known that we as INFJ attracted to ENFP until i saw an article on internet. That’s why i feel comfortable around my two ENFP friends. I ever tried this test again and got ENFP, and i realized that was not me, that was just me wanted to be like ENFP LOL. I think they are more lively.

      • Joel Aldrich

        Almost all of the closest people in my life are other INFJ’s or ENFP’s.

    • Sarah

      i have exactly the same problem, but my only friend betrayed me… Which left marks

      • I’ve had a lot of betrayal and it hurts, but I try to shove into my brain to not take it personally…daily, that’s hard, too..xo

    • While I do agree with the ENFP vibe, I happened upon an INFP, and it was as if we had always known each other. Personally, being married to an extrovert was never an option. I wouldn’t want to keep them home, and I couldn’t stand for being drug about, or feeling like the heel.

      • Emma Beth

        Yes, I have found an INFP and we are coming up on 12 years together!

  • Can I use your picture for my FB profile? I qualify as an INFJ…;-)

  • This is definitely a “right on target” assessment. And I think you! It really helps us INFJs to know these things are “normal” because we can do a good job of conforming them into denial.

  • Wren

    I think your list is spot on. For me, #8 is the most stressful and challenging aspect. Sometimes I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone episode where the the little monster was on the plane wing and only one person could see it.

  • gee

    I feel like number 1 depends on the person…I don’t feel that misunderstood. And number 10 depends on the person, I don’t believe in soul mates…

  • Shraddha

    INFPs are so similar to INFJs! At least, I am. 😛 INFPs can sense others’ emotions as well! I don’t know about other INFPs, but the only difference is that I don’t get affected: not by strangers, at least. But I do by the people I truly care about (INFPs have a caring ability, and INFJs have a sensing ability). This article is a great way of knowing more about INFJs.

  • Corey

    Great read. I certainly feel the strain of #9 as I look for #10.

  • awesome 🙂 Very accurate for me also

  • EiLEEN

    What is INFJ stands for? what does ENFPS stands for??

  • Extremely accurate for me. I found out I was an INFJ this year and it gave me a deep sense of belonging. I’ve been trying to figure why I am the way I am since I was a kid. To know I am understood means so much, hence leading me to researching the crap out of it. Good read, as well.

  • could you write INTJ version of this?

    • Jenn Granneman

      Hi there! I am planning an INTJ version next month. 🙂

  • Gail

    As usual, Jenn, there isn’t one word here with which I don’t identify! You know what frustrates me the most? No matter what we do, or how hard we try, we cannot explain to others exactly what our world is all about. Nor what it is like to have the heart of an INFJ. We just see what the others don’t, without even trying…and I would love for them to be able to see it all 🙂

  • Wow, story of my life. I remember taking this test at work years ago. Each type went to a separate corner of the room. And, there I was, the only INFJ in a room of about 40 people. Wasn’t surprised a bit!

    Thanks for the insight. Very interesting!

  • Jc

    The first time I discovered I was an INFJ I was intrigued. Considering we make approximately just 2% of the wold’s population (or maybe it was just the US? I forgot.) Anyhow, this article is definitely spot on. I particularly relate to number 9, and 8. Both too accurate.

  • key

    Love this one! good job, go on! 🙂

  • Karen Young

    Beautifully insightful. Great article.

  • Spot. On.

  • sarah

    Every. Single. Word. WOW. Especially the part about absorbing others emotions, even strangers. At the doctors this week I had to bury my head into my book, deep, because of a mother taking care of a handicap child sitting next to me. I could feel everything she was feeling and it was so overwhelming I just skipped my doctors appointment and came home to shut down and recharge. I can’t watch most tv and have to be very careful about what I read on the internet. The emotions and sensitivity are just so strong. I found out that I was a INFJ this year and it has been so freeing for me to finally understand myself. “The circle of friends is small” This is so true I let very few in, very few. I can pinpoint where a new relationship is going in a minute and if I am not comfortable with it, I walk away. I can’t tell you how many times I have been told that I am stuck up, I’m not, I’m just quiet and thinking.

  • Even my closest friends only knew a portion of me, I don’t share more than that because I know they will not be able to sense what I’m really saying and I ‘ll spend more time than I care to explain. I have yet to really understand myself, or even honor my special gifts bestowed upon me by my personality.

    Article is great, thanks for sharing.

  • Kate

    OH MY GOSH MY LIFE MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW! So here’s my deal – I’m a corrections officer at a jail. I’m known for being one of the compassionate ones, but I’m also known for having sudden mood swings – and I could never figure out why it was that I could go from happy and in a good mood to wanting to yell at someone within a few seconds. I just figured it was something with me. But inmates in a jail have a lot of emotions, and a lot of negative emotions, and I always knew I was picking up on those a lot – but this completely explains it! Also, the whole “knowing something and not knowing how they know it” – yep, dead on for me.
    (and yes, having a job where I’m surrounded by large groups of people all day is every bit as emotionally exhausting as it sounds – throw in the fact that I’m also a HSP and it’s a wonder I’ve not gone insane)

  • All of Us INFJ’s are so special & we’ve always felt this way… But trying to tell someone else that can be weird. Don’t ever forget how special you are and hope that it takes us where we need to be <3 we the Best

    • Laurie Galloway

      When I was a kid my grandmother looked me in the eyes and said “you are special, don’t ever forget it and don’t let anyone tell you any different”, she was Native American and the only one who I could actually be myself around, I was so comfortable and happy around her and when she passed I was heartbroken and didn’t know what I was going to do. She saw the way I was and made the whole thing easier, even with the rest of the family. I still miss her so much.

  • The first time I took the Myers-Briggs assessment was about 25 years ago. It was a life-changer for me because I’d ALWAYS felt like an outsider looking in. As an INFJ, I finally understood why. Only 1% of the people I will ever meet will share my personality type. I realize what a rare and special bird I was. Life got immensely better once I started to work in a profession that suits me (teaching, writing) and once I had enough downtime to cope with the clamor of the world. Thanks for a great article.

  • Lexicon

    I’m an INFP with a quite balanced F and T so I relate a lot to this. I think I am quite extrovert with my T but due to my lack of ‘J’ I would never be doing accounting or an organisational job. I amam quite sensitive about the future especially relationships and world events especially but I wouldn’t be able to see random peoples futures. Though I take dreams as being quite prophetic.
    But I do have the problem of knowing things and not able to explain how I know.

  • I totally identify with all of this. Until just a few months ago, I was getting so depressed and frustrated with myself because I thought I was just too weird or too intense or that something was seriously wrong with me. I’ve known for years I was an INFJ, I just never bothered to try to understand what that meant for me. It wasn’t until I started to see things on Pinterest about being INFJ did I start to realize how important it was for me to know that. Since then I have been embracing who I am and have been feeling less depressed about being me.

  • I’ve been coming to terms with myself as an INFJ. My whole life I’ve never belonged. I’ve always been on the outskirts looking in. Sometimes just knowing things and understanding people too soon can really handicap us socially and economically. Sensitivity can be a weakness, but it’s also one of our greatest strengths. Living life as an INFJ can be difficult. Visit my blog to see some of my day-to-day struggles. http://www.INFJgirl.com. As the minority personality in the population, the INFJ type of people need to stand by one another and help one another realize our true potential.

  • It truly is rare when I find someone who will listen to me. Most of my relationships are one sided. I have very few relationships. It’s a matter of self preservation though, don’t mistake this for a pity play by any means.

  • NH

    it feels good to know that more people like us exists.It is hard to find people who care as much as you do,listen and forgive as much but you know what sometimes all we need to do is our best,push beyond our limit for things we value which i know you surely have done that.

    when right things come … they will stay

  • WM

    I’m a 35 year old SAHM and I’ve never felt understood. I’ve always always thought that I had just adapted to society because I can be extroverted when needed. In fact, I recently had a good friend call me an extrovert and I just laughed…. I’m not but couldn’t explain how I will happily talk to people in the check out line but need my alone time.
    Taking the test was a refreshing wake up call that I am not weird… just rare but there are other people with my personality type! Yay!

  • Nikki Williams

    I’m really glad to read this and see there are others like me out there. I work in a company that is highly relational and focuses on the emotional well being of others. It comes as no surprise to me to realize what I’ve always called “vibing” a room or an individual correlates to being a strong INFJ. It’s like being hit by a wrecking ball of other peoples feelings/emotions, especially when I’m in large groups. One on one, it actually assists me in my job counseling others.

  • Rose Ann

    I started to know myself as INFJ more than a decade. Being INFJ is a gift but also hard.

  • viktorija

    The test says im an INFJ too. It feels right. It’s just strange that i never really thought of myself as “that” different from others 🙂 I just figured people are pretty much the same we just can’t get into each others heads and know each other the way we know ourselves but that doesnt mean were really that much different from each other. Hhaha i have no idea what im talking about!

  • Maryann

    This is absolutely perfect

  • I’m a ENFP but I have INFJ traits, like although I can be very extroverted my core is introvert. But it’s funny, when I looked up fictional characters for ENFP’s, all the ones I was attracted too where INFJ’S!

  • Oh and if you all really like Meyers Briggs, you should check on Enneagram! Probably my top personality typing system. Right before this!

  • podleyroo

    I believe I am an INFJ, my personal life I keep to myself, I have a few close friends, yet so many people do like me, superficially I guess. To sum it up, I have always felt like a chameleon, a master of disguise, life gets tiring. But here is the rub…I work in the most superficial industry of all, advertising, and have survived all of the arrogance, self-indulgence and egotistical nonsense that the corporate world can possibly throw at me. Thank heavens that I am what I am…just knackered.

  • LaShantell

    I just discovered that I’m an INFJ type. I’m new to all of this, but it is interesting learning about myself. I definitely agree to 1,3,6, and 10. I really want to talk about number 6. I’m indulging introversion because I realized that I am different and couldn’t quite put my finger on it. What makes it even more difficult is that I oftentimes find myself being friendly with strangers, not overtly, but very passively. I’m very bubbly and outgoing with people I am comfortable with. This didn’t make sense to me as I begin to learn about introversion, but as I being to learn about the Myers briggs personalities and read on INFJ, I realized that this personality type best suits me. Also, I learned that INFJ’s are intuitive. I can agree to that, mainly because I am in ministry and lead prayer so I definitely can understand my need to empathize like # 2 states.

  • Jessica

    I am an INFJ and my mother-in-law (whom I intuitively dislike) moved into my house! My VERY extroverted husband just didn’t understand why this was a BIG deal for me. After a year and a half, I finally figured out a way to explain it that clicked with him.
    I told him, “Imagine you’re stuck in a room with my loud-mouth cousin that you don’t like. You’re trapped there all day and night with her 24/7. You’re not allowed to leave unless it is to go somewhere equally stressful, like taking college entrance exams. THAT is what life has been like for me for the past year and a half!

  • Isn’t it funny that I am both an INFJ and a Scorpio, I think that maybe I just have to stay away from people entirely, every time I put myself out there it comes back to bite me. I have all I need with my husband and kids and extended family. I guess I will stop trying to trust, it doesn’t seem to do me any good.

  • Kay

    This article is spot on! And the comments made me smile. <3 I wish there was a live forum for us. Does that sound nerd-ish? Oh well. 🙂 Reading all of your comments makes me feel much better, especially the one who said something like "don't ever forget how special you all are". <3 My traits help enormously in my career (working with disabled individuals) however it is emotionally exhausting in my personal life. But I'm learning a lot on how to balance things… it's just very challenging.

  • MzAnneThrope

    What a wonderful website, says an HSP INFJ who wishes she’d had access to this type of information when she was growing up, and who is very grateful to have discovered it when she did. It’s refreshing to see intelligent, thoughtfully written articles like this, as well as civilized, articulate commentary by respondents who aren’t attempting to generate controversy or criticize/antagonize others to bolster their own ego – I typically avoid online comments sections like the plague, because of the shocking (to me, anyway) levels of disrespect and hostility that can erupt in response to even the most innocuous postings or articles. I’m definitely bookmarking this site! Thank you, Jenn, for providing this safe, supportive online haven for other ‘innies.’

  • Grace

    This is so accurate!
    I always feel lost I don’t understand who I am I’m crying T__T
    Having new friends is difficult for me bcz I can’t start a conversation that does not sound awkward you know just like the basic greetings, “where are u from”…. And then silence. Ugh I can’t even share unless it has a purpose on me so I prefer to be silent, listen and observe waiting myself to get out of the space and move on to what happened after 3 days…

  • Matthew

    Wow, out there are more people like me!!! This article is so true. I have only one question, have INFJs so, that when someone is wrong about them, they react impulsive, or it’s individual?

  • Sam

    Love #9 of the worst injustice of one-sidedness. I have felt this at times as I come across as INFJ, INTJ with usually mostly ISFJ.

    I see it as utmost unacceptable, uncouth and wrong in especially the professional networking world where one person sincerely goes out of way to contact another with attempt to build relationship, but at worst and hurtful is not responded back to with courtesy or given time back or even stop responding out of nowhere after nice, mutual exchanges before?

  • Hannah

    Wow this is so spectacular! Speaks so accurately about myself. Thank you for writing this article!

  • Very accurate article, I enjoyed so much reading it I am not alone

  • Naeraley

    I’m an INFJ dating another INFJ. How we found each other when we’re both rare breeds I’ll never know. He’s a God-given blessing and I wouldn’t want it any other way!

  • Sophie

    This is so freakin accurate that it gives me goosebumps. It’s nice to know that there are so many people that feel this way. Sometimes I wonder why I am the only person that cares if someone’s smile isn’t a smile or why when my friends get angry I immediately mutual understand their rage.

  • Every time I read this artlcle, I’m still amazed at how accurate it is. So nice to be understood (see Point No. 1).

  • Clare Arthur

    This is so good. I’m an INFJ and I absorb everyone’s feelings! It can be exhausting! When my son was little and was suffering through a gastro-intestinal allergy I was exhausted and felt so much pain, because I was taking on his pain. And when my husband has periods of depression I get affected by his mood too. I really wish I could build a bubble around myself! My hubby is an ESFJ and it explains why he can watch all sorts of films and tv shows and I find so many of them completely overwhelming and upsetting, simply because I am affected by them for long after the show has finished. Love these posts, they are really helping me make sense of the way I see the world.

  • david

    enneagram 5’s – can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em. 🙂

  • Howiyda

    Finally, someone who can understand me.

  • Sher

    Absolutely me. People sometimes think that it is conceited to ‘know’ something without a shadow of a doubt and I don’t understand HOW I know, but I do. I also have problems with people sensing that I can tell a lot about their motives without knowing them that well. I absorb other peoples emotions, so I have started taking golden yarrow drops to try and create a buffer between me and them. Yes, sigh, you do go through life feeling misunderstood, but still an interesting journey of self awareness.
    Still looking for my soulmate, though.

  • Tonshawn T Riddle

    So it makes sense… too much sense, to be exact. I was never found of one-sided relationships, yet I would always have at least one of them, which I dread and avoid in my best capabilities. Also, I find it near impossible until recently that we could be understood by others, and me and my best friend would always think I’m “crazy” or “weird”…

  • Michelle de Beer

    I almost always type as ENTJ when I do tests, however I have no desire to be the boss of anyone.
    I dug further into this MBTI business, to find the INTJ which I thought matched me much better.
    But that also didn’t fit entirely right, as I am not so much interested in systems and strategy as I am in people, their behaviour and their relationships. That is my passion.

    However, I suck at romantic relationships and most friendships. (I have 1 20 year old friendship with my gay friend who tested ENFJ, and my Bestie of 3 years a true ENFP)

    I also have selective compassion, if that makes any sense.
    Animals, Children, and anyone else who are unable to protect / help themselves.
    I feel nothing towards beggars, always thinking, I work for what i have, so can you. I do wonder what choices got them there.

  • Angie

    I’m astounded at how accurate this is. I’ve always felt like an alien from another planet and found that for some reason other frightened or distressed souls would come to me out of a crowd of people to approach. I always wondered why they picked me. Why they sensed I’d understand. Also I pick up things that others don’t see and see patterns and struggle to let people in close. I am still looking for my soul mate but hold little hope on finding him. To be honest I hate being this unique.

  • Zan

    Not sure if I’m happy that all this seems true for me or not. It is a struggle to feel this way. Glad I am not alone. But I feel alone because I don’t actually know anyone like me. Just people who post here.

  • yoann

    This article is scary because it’s describing me very accurately. What should I do now?

  • What should I do now? I didn’t know that there were people like me, it’s really strange to realize that.

  • Andrea

    Just learned about & took the Myers-Briggs personality type test today. Cried while reading this article because it’s 100% SPOT ON to who I am. I’ve always felt different than everyone. Always wondering, what’s wrong with me? I’m so happy & relieved to know that there are others who are just like me in this world :o). Thank you for this article!

  • Jon

    As an INFJ, the thing which always surprises me is my own anger. If you hurt me emotionally I will take you down, and I’m not proud of it though I find the release of energy a relief. This can be anything from a betrayal in love, to a friend taking me for granted. I spend some of my time working with people who are mentally challenged. These people will never see that side of me. Those who do are usually smart and perhaps perceived as a bit arrogant or thoughtless, My sister is an ISFJ. She truly hates confrontation and is a sweet girl. But one day I went off on her unexpectedly and gave her no compassion whatsoever. In time, I wrote a heartfelt apology. I understood why I was mad, but she had no idea. It was something she did, a betrayal she was unaware of, that seems to have brought this hurricane of defensive emotions to the surface and I took her down so rudely we were both shocked by my behavior. I have been told by my (few) friends that I’m “too sensitive, although I’m generally well-liked. Great articles here. Learned a lot. Thanks for the connection!

  • amazing and greatly appreciated

  • Anna

    I am an INFJ and although the advice given in the articles and comments was useful, I noticed that it never mentioned how often I feel like I am being judged. I feel like everyone in the world is looking at me, trying to find my flaws, and talking about me behind my back. Sometimes I hear my name whispered in the halls at school. I see people pointing from across the classroom. I pretend not to notice or care, but inside, I’m dying. I feel like the whole world is against me, that every little mistake I make is written down in the record of my reputation. I feel like everyone is watching every move I make, and judging me for the littlest things. If any of you feel this way, PLEASE REPLY. I need to know that I am not alone in this. Thank you.

  • Edith

    Thank you..a true eye opener for someone like me who’s just discovering my true self.

  • Victoria Downey

    This is very accurate. In regards to relationships with others, I have found that I personally do not get along with extroverts. For the most part they annoy me and drain me. I am an INFJ and my best friend is an INTJ. We balance each other wonderfully and are extremely close. Our relationship, as well as the couple other friends I have, work very well because we are all introverts.

  • Megan

    Yep, I think it’s part of being hyper aware and incredibly sensitive. You’re definitely not alone in feeling that way, and I can tell you that with time it will get easier to let these feelings go a bit more, regardless of how accurate they may be with how others feel about you. 🙂

  • Megan

    This was supposed to be in response to Anna above with feeling like everyone is judging her and feeling alone. Not sure why it didn’t go under her comment.

  • Wow. Everything is spot on. I just wish there were solutions to the feeling misunderstood part. I have found people that may not understand me but at least completely accept me. That’s enough, thankfully.

  • Suyesh

    Yea. I too feel the same. When I see any extrovert I tell to myself that he or she is not the person I would like to be open to or be the real me. All because I am an INFJ.

  • Personality test was wrong

    I’ve been wondering lately especially if I might not be borderline INFP/ INFJ. The empathetic trait is the tipper. I am an empath. I am also a highly sensitive person (HSP). I wonder if these traits are not exclusive from each other, but work one in the same. Also predicting outcomes, for me it works along side the empathetic trait. Yeah… reading more this sounds more like me. Though the first test I took came up as INFP. The things is when I take quizzes I am always on the fence and may not choose a definitive answer. So many of my answers will be neutral or the definitive answers could change when I retake the quiz again. Though I do have traits of an INFP, this article sounds more like me. Including the empathetic ability and the HSP traits.

  • Emily Woods

    I believe this sums things up perfectly. I definitely fall into this personality type.

  • Joey B. (Lafayette)

    “This situation happens frequently to INFJs, says Dodge, because they
    tend to take on other people’s emotions. No other Myers-Briggs
    personality type has this unique ability.”
    Really all MBTI types with dominant or secondary Fe have this ability (ESFJs, ISFJs, ENFJs, & INFJs).
    Otherwise great article!

  • Laurie Galloway

    Glad I stumbled upon this site. All I want to do is cry, I have felt so alone all my life, I am 53. I never knew what was wrong with me, now I do, it’s my personality. Not saying it’s a bad thing, just now I know. I always thought I was just this strange person who just wanted to be alone most of the time. I never connected with anyone really, even my husband, who I thought was my soul mate, but started questioning that pretty quick after we were married. I was always giving and he was always taking. He passed away 6 years ago and I still have not started dating, had coffee a few times, but never clicked with anyone and would always run away fast. Thank you for this article. It has helped me immensely.

  • Tiffany Williams

    Thank you for this, Jenn!

  • This is so me! Seriously, before I discovered that I am an INFJ, it’s so hard for me to understand myself. I used to think, why am I so different, like my brain is wired differently. HAHAHA.

  • Jolene Marais

    This explains myself so wonderfully. What an insightful person you are Jenn Granneman. ☺

  • CLM3Chip

    Yup, I think all of these are true, and some of them are very true about me in particular.

  • Marcia Rodrigues

    I really like this article. I’m also INFJ and highly sensitive person, and it is hard because other people don’t understand some of my attitudes and perceive me as weird or offish. But this helps.

  • Alyiah Sanders

    Thank you! On my personality test it told me I was an INFJ. I didn’t know what that meant. But I did research, and I found this page and it was really true about me. It really helped me to understand myself. So thank you.

  • Damie Ricketts

    i’m so enlightened right now. I though i was apart of a dying breed. THANK YOU!

  • Joel

    Strikingly definitive. Thanks!