Ways INFJs Show Their Love — And How You Can, Too

An INFJ hugging their partner

“Actions speak louder than words” could be the mantra for how INFJs show their love — they want to do whatever they can to make you happy.

Of all eight Myers-Briggs introverted personality types, INFJs are known as the “healers.” This is partly because of our strong sense of idealism and partly because of our strong sense of empathy — we can’t help but feel what others feel. 

When it comes to relationships, INFJs are not just looking for anything, but something long-term. They like to go slow and really get to know someone before making it into a bona fide romantic relationship. This can make dating a challenge for INFJs. Plus, if we’re not feeling it, or someone does us wrong, we’ll likely execute the renowned INFJ door slam and abruptly remove them from our life.

But if you and I click, we make great partners. Need some convincing? Here are five ways INFJs show their love.

(What’s your personality type? We recommend this free personality assessment.)

5 Ways INFJs Show Their Love 

1. They’re givers — they can naturally sense your needs and do everything they can to make you happy.

Since INFJs are idealistic, they are typically “givers” in romantic relationships — they are warm and expressive partners who see intimacy as a method to develop their personal relationships. Plus, they are warm, sympathetic, and empathetic listeners who are willing to offer their friends (and loved ones) as much comfort and assistance as they need. They also have an incredible ability to sense their partner’s needs and desires, and respond to them with uncanny accuracy. 

In addition, whether it’s through a date, present, or praise, INFJs will look for creative methods to express their love for you. They will make an effort to make you feel loved and acknowledged.

2. They’re not big fans of casual flings — they want the real deal.

If you’re looking for a fling or something casual, it’s probably best not to look for it in an INFJ. We give our all to a relationship, being very honest and open with our partners, which means being vulnerable. And we don’t just do that with anybody. We enjoy being able to share our feelings — and like our partners to, as well. 

As far as physical intimacy is concerned, we don’t mind waiting for sex until the time is right. This is partially because INFJs are very sensitive creatures who are always trying to take into account what others feel before making a move themselves. And once we make a move, we like to be romantic and intimate.

3. They’re emotionally supportive — you can count on them.

INFJs are super dedicated and generous — and will be the most emotionally supportive partner. A true INFJ will be with you through thick and thin. They will want you to be happy and fulfilled — and they won’t go after your heart so much as your mind (at least initially). As a result, you will end up experiencing an intense, and deep, relationship.

Plus, they’ll constantly check in and see how you’re doing, ensuring that your fundamental needs are addressed at all times. They’ll make sure you have everything you need to be comfortable, healthy, and happy. They will be the person who makes sure you never go to bed hungry, and make sure you get the rest you need. Plus, they’ll provide you with praise and encouragement when you need it.

Similarly, they will help and defend you in whatever way they can. Whether you’re right or wrong, they’ll stick by your side, as well as respect you and your decisions (even if they don’t agree with them).

4. They’ll get to know you on a deep level.

Remember what I said about INFJs being attracted to your mind? Well, they will devote a great deal of time and effort to getting to know you and your inner emotional life. They are incredibly curious about your past and what makes you the person that you are today. And because of this, they want to know what experiences have shaped your world view and how they can help you grow. 

Even though they are very loving and attentive to you and your needs, they also have a desire to learn and grow alongside you. There may be times they will ask you a lot of questions and actively try to engage you in deep and meaningful conversations. If you get the sense that they are interrogating you, don’t worry — it’s just their effort to understand you on a very emotionally intimate level.

5. They’ll make time for you even when they’re busy.

People like to use “busy” as an excuse for not following through on things — but not INFJs. They will make time for you even if they’re busy, exhausted, or have something else they’d rather be doing. And if they see you’re upset or feel that you need them, they’ll likely drop whatever it is they’re doing to spend time with you.

Plus, day-to-day, they will find a way to communicate with you and let you know you’re on their mind. It could be as basic as a “Good morning” or “Goodnight” text — or a funny meme. Some may also send you long, heartfelt texts and handwritten letters expressing their like/love for you.

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INFJs and Love 

INFJs are incredibly unique and specific people, so knowing the tiny things that make them feel loved in the manner they need it is vital to them. 

We all have different love languages. But I believe we INFJs most value those who show their love through actions rather than words. So what follows is how you can show an INFJ your love.

4 Ways You Can Show an INFJ Your Love 

1. Help them with things they can’t (necessarily) do for themselves.

INFJs love when you help them out with something they may not be able to do for themselves, such as take care of them when they are sick or help them with housework (especially something they loathe). 

2. Do thoughtful gestures, like leave them handwritten notes.

Since INFJs appreciate quality time with you, ask them about their day and spend time with them. When they ask for help, be there. And let them know you love them, but you can show it and not always say it. To this point, thoughtful gestures go a long way. You don’t need to give them expensive things. Instead, just surprise them with little things, like a note in their lunch. 

3. Let them have alone time, no questions asked.

INFJs are very empathetic and intuitive people, so they need their alone time to recharge. Allow them to have their time alone — no questions asked. After all, it’s about them, not you. Don’t be afraid to give them space, but also don’t be afraid to be there to support them when they need you. 

4. Don’t rush them — they may take longer to express themselves, but they will (eventually).

Keep in mind, INFJs may take longer to express themselves. So pay attention to how they communicate because it may be tough for them to open up about their thoughts and feelings. They’re likely just getting used to being vulnerable and in a relationship. 

As time goes by and you spend more time together, their feelings will get stronger and they’ll open up more. So don’t rush them — just trust the process.

My fellow INFJs, what would you add to either of the above two lists? I’d love to hear in the comments below!

Do you ever struggle to know what to say?

As an introvert, you actually have the ability to be an amazing conversationalist — even if you’re quiet and hate small talk. To learn how, we recommend this online course from our partner Michaela Chung. Click here to check out the Introvert Conversation Genius course.

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