Does the idea of the typical Valentine’s Day date — dinner in a loud, busy restaurant and over-the-top, public declarations of your love — make you squirm?
If so, you might be an introvert.
Introverts are low-key in a lot of ways, from their penchant for observation and quiet to their desire to stay out of the spotlight. For many introverts, Valentine’s Day is no different. We just don’t need all the hoopla.
This isn’t to say that introverts don’t want to feel loved and appreciated by their significant other. We just have a different style when it comes to giving and receiving affection. That’s part of what it means to be an introvert.
Are you in a relationship with an introvert? Here are 17 low-key Valentine’s Day ideas.
Valentine’s Day Date Ideas for Introverts
1. Cook a special dinner together at home.
Home is where the introvert’s heart is. Skip the crowded restaurant — which may be overstimulating for an introvert — and spark a more private romance in the comfort of your own kitchen. Plus, you’ll save money, considering how most restaurants mark-up their meals on this special day. Here are some romantic dinner recipes you could cook at home.
2. Write a love letter to each other.
Introverts may struggle with saying what’s on their mind — and in their heart — but feel more comfortable expressing themselves in writing. Go old school, get out a pen and paper, and write your introvert a love letter — and invite him or her to do the same. You’ll likely see a side of your introvert that you’ve never seen before.
Feeling awkward about it? Here are some tips to write a great love letter.
3. Get takeout and binge-watch a great series.
This is the quintessential introvert date. So easy, so chill. Some of my recent Netflix favorites are Black Mirror, The End of the F***ing World, and BoJack Horseman. Or, since it’s Valentine’s Day, try some of these romantic movies (check that they’re available on your streaming service!).
4. Peruse a local bookstore.
Rows and rows of inspiration, knowledge, and imagination? Perfect for the intellectual introvert. Get lost among the shelves of a cute, independent bookstore. Bonus: Each of you picks out a book that you think the other would enjoy. Or, try one of these bookstore scavenger hunts. Finish up your date with a hot latte or a glass of wine.
5. Give each other a massage.
In the comfort of your own home, of course. Brush up your massage skills here.
6. Get brunch together.
Brunch is more low-key than dinner. If your schedule allows, go in the morning, when the restaurant isn’t crowded. If you have to work, consider going out for a special brunch the weekend before or after Valentine’s Day.
7. Break out of an escape room.
A detective goes missing and you only have an hour to scour his office for clues and solve the puzzle! I recently did an escape room and it was tons of fun. Granted, it was a group event, but it wasn’t as draining as your typical get-together, because there was no time for small talk. Assemble a team of your favorite couples. Introverts who love a good mystery and using their brains will get a thrill from this unforgettable group date.
8. Get outside.
Winter can be a tough time for anyone, but it can be especially tough on introverts, who are sensitive to their environment and have a penchant for staying indoors. Get outside among nature and sunshine, and you’ll both get a natural mood boost. Go on a walk through a beautiful or historic neighborhood and chat meaningfully (one of my favorite things to do with my introverted partner) or rent bicycles and explore. If the weather’s frigid, wander among the flowers at your local conservatory.
9. Take a brewery tour or go wine tasting.
Sip a craft IPA or swirl a juicy cabernet. So much more chill than going to a bar.
10. Throw a game night at home.
Break out your favorite two-player game and add pizza and drinks of your choice. Bonus points for trying a sexy date night game like these. Or host a low-key board game night at home with a few other couples. (Here are some ideas on how to do that.) Hosting an event can be less draining for introverts than attending one, because they have more control — they pick the guests, the schedule, and the activities.
11. Go to a cat cafe.
The cat cafe is real, and they can now be found in most major cities. Basically, you sip coffee and play with cats. For animal-loving introverts, what’s not to love?
12. Go to an art, science, or history museum.
Feed an introvert’s intellectual side, and their heart will follow. Check local museums for any special exhibits before you go.
13. Take a class together.
Many introverts love learning and adding to their vast stores of specialty knowledge. Take a cooking, painting, mixology, or dance class together. Check Groupon for discounts.
14. Take a tour together.
Learn about your city’s history and ride a segway while you do it. Or go on a haunted ghost tour and feed your imagination.
15. Get away for just one night.
Stay in a fancy historic hotel or a secluded cabin. You won’t break your budget if it’s just one night. If you order room service to your hotel room, you won’t even have to venture out.
16. Take in a show at a local jazz club.
Nothing says sexy like smooth jazz. If jazz isn’t your thing, find some live music that is. Aim for intimate and chill rather than loud, crazy, and crowded.
17. Serve your introvert breakfast in bed.
Nothing says chill and cozy like breakfast in bed. Here are some recipes to try.
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Read this: 9 Secrets About Dating an Introvert