Introverted friends are the best friends. You can count on them, they “get” you, and they’ll brew a pot of your favorite tea when you’re sad.
Introverts may be known for being quiet, the ones who stand by the wall at a party, or the ones with a few friends vs. a hundred acquaintances. And although introverts may prefer the company of a cat or dog over that of a fellow human, I am here to tell you introverts may be the best friends you will ever have. Let me explain why.
8 Reasons Why Introverts Make the Best Friends
1. You will have their full attention — they’ll actively listen (without interrupting) and ask questions, not just respond.
During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, I didn’t miss the mandatory meetings at work, the social gatherings, the moments people got together and I felt I had to participate (when I actually just wanted to go home, pet my cats, have a cup of tea, do some drawing, that sort of evening). But what I did miss was talking to my close friends. Because when I talk to them, I have their full attention and they have mine.
When you have a conversation with an introvert, he or she will listen and ask questions like:
- “Why did you (dis)like that?”
- “What happened?”
- “How did you come to that conclusion?”
- “How do you feel about that?”
Your introverted friend is there to understand what you are going through.
Let me give you some homework: When you encounter a person and you start a conversation (okay, let’s be real here, you probably won’t initiate the conversation, the other person will, but still), pay attention to the face of the other person. Most people will be occupied with thinking about what they will say next instead of really listening to you. It is unlikely they will ask questions; it is more likely they will just start telling their story instead of tapping into your story. You can see this in their faces/eyes. The focus is not on you, but on their own mind.
But this will not happen with your introverted friend. He or she will be fully focused on you, trying to read your body language and discover how you are really doing and feeling.
2. They know and remember everything, like that doctor’s appointment you had, and will ask you about it.
An introverted friend is a thoughtful friend. They will remember your doctor’s appointment and send you a text (we are not that good at speaking on the phone; we prefer sending texts) to ask you how it went. They will remember your birthday and send you a card or a sweet gift in the mail (you know, the old-school mailbox, not the digital version). They will remember your favorite drink and snack, so when you visit, your friend has them ready for you. They remember what you told them the previous time you spoke, and they will get back to that subject the next time you meet.
They remember things and they know things, and you will feel acknowledged and loved as a result. When you visit your introverted friend, it is like coming home; you immediately feel at ease. How cool is that?
3. They will understand if you have to reschedule at the last minute.
When I have plans with a friend, but on the day of, I don’t feel up to it (because I had a rough day at work or am tired), I can cancel without fear of hurting my friend’s feelings — they’ll understand. They “get” me. In the case of it being the other way around, I will understand, too. Of course, I’d love to see my friend, but I would rather have her take the time to recover from a rough day than feel obliged to drag herself to my house just because we had set a date.
Your introverted friend is emphatic and can understand how you feel, so don’t worry about showing your true feelings and letting them know you don’t feel up to it. They will get it. Even better: They may even text you the next day to let you know they hope you have recovered and feel better.
4. You can be you; you don’t have to pretend.
Even if you tried to hide it, your friend would probably see the real you. As an introvert, I can see through people’s masks; I like to think that I can see the “true” person, not just what they show me.
Your introverted friend likes you for who you are. You don’t have to tell strong stories in which you exaggerate or gloss over certain points. They’re interested in what you want and what you feel, not in what society wants us to feel or desire. So you can be you in your truest form — no embellishment is needed. You can leave your fancy outfit and makeup at home and just show up the way you are. No worries: Your friend will be interested in your soul, not the brand of your jeans. What a relief!
5. You’ll have a creative companion on hand.
We introverts are creative. Whether it is by doing crafts or designing our own clothes or building our own furniture, many of us “quiet ones” love to create. We love to turn scraps, materials, and leftovers into pieces of art or delicious meals. This creative ability is also translated in the way we perform tasks in our jobs or in the way we respond to situations. Deep thinkers and workers, we’re thorough in what we do.
How does this help your friendship? Well, for one thing, your introverted friend is never short of ideas on what to do. So be ready to be amazed with all the things they will think up. Besides that, if you find yourself in a pickle, you can count on your friend to come up with some innovative solution. Due to the ability of introverts to observe the world around them and make connections where others don’t, they are able to come up with genius ideas to solve almost any problem.
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6. They will broaden your knowledge.
While others spend their evenings going to clubs and parties, introverts can be found with their noses in books, watching documentaries, or engaging in self-study. This enables them to be a great source of knowledge. My husband is a great example of this. It seems that no matter what I ask (when was the black plague, how does a television work, what is the Latin name for the tea plant), he knows it!
But, I must add: He actually has more time in a day than I have! How is this possible, you may wonder. Well, as a highly sensitive introvert, I need more sleep (about nine hours each night), in order to process the day and get rested enough. My husband only needs seven hours of sleep. So while I am under the covers inhaling my lavender oil (works wonders for the troubled mind), he is on the internet looking up information about beekeeping or some other subject.
So when you meet up with your introverted friend, you can expect to learn something new, just because we love to absorb knowledge and interesting facts and share them with you. After a visit to your friend’s house, you may feel enlightened and have a broader understanding of the world around you.
7. There’s always something to do.
In line with #6: We introverts have a wide range of interests. If I take myself as an example, I have a job as an office manager, I am a beekeeper, I have cats, I tend to my garden, I read all kinds of books, I draw, I paint, I do all kinds of crafts, I teach gymnastics to young girls, I teach children about bees, I sew clothes, I love to visit old mansions and learn the history of the places and the people who lived in them, I make my own cleaning detergent and skin care products, and have started to write a book. So, a lot of variation.
Most introverts have several interests. That can sometimes be tricky, because we only have a certain amount of time to read or spend on a hobby. So focus can be helpful. I listed a lot of activities, but I can assure you, I am no expert in all of them, because I only have a small amount of time to invest in the process of learning various skills. Therefore, I try to maintain focus as I do each one.
WIth that said, introverts can come up with a lot of activities, so there is never a shortage of suggestions on how to spend your time together. Besides, sometimes talking can be more comfortable while doing an activity together (crafting, cooking, gardening) than staring each other in the face.
8. You’ll have a friend for life.
So, an introverted friend is a friend you want to treasure for life. It will be somebody you can count on, who will understand you, who will brew a pot of your favorite tea when you are sad, and who will genuinely help you with anything that life throws at you. They’re a person to be thankful for and treasure. (And please, fellow introverts, don’t worry about just having a few friends. The depth of the friendship and the role you will perform in somebody’s life is so much more important than the quantity of friends.)
Although introverts are loyal, sometimes we may not feel appreciated enough and may end a friendship. Many of us have a lot of patience and are willing to invest in a friend for a long time, even when it’s a one-way street. But when an introvert closes the door on you, the friendship may indeed be over (also called the door slam). So nurture your introvert friendship and it will be a lifesaver and a joy.
Do you have an introverted friend? What’s a perk you experience in your friendship? Feel free to share in the comments below!