7 Valentine’s Day Date Ideas for Introvert-Extrovert Couples

IntrovertDear.com Valentine's Day introvert-extrovert

We all know the old adage, “opposites attract,” and countless couples have found this to be true. Another truth is that opposites tend to stay opposite, which leads to yet another cliché, “compromise is a necessary component of a relationship.”

If you have been blessed to have fallen in love with your opposite, you are likely motivated to take full advantage of Valentine’s Day by showering your special someone with all the love you know they deserve. Often, this is easier said than done. It’s all too easy to get stuck trying to figure out a good compromise on how to spend Feb. 14.

I have found that showing love to a fellow introvert can be easier than demonstrating it to an extrovert simply because I know what an introvert would like. With fellow introverts, we can hole up all day watching Netflix together in our pajamas and be assured our counterpart is enjoying the day just as much as we are.

When our love is an extrovert, however, it can be harder to figure out something that our partner will enjoy — and that won’t completely drain our energy. But this shouldn’t stop us.

This Valentine’s Day, find something you both enjoy. Here are seven date ideas on how to shower your extroverted sweetheart with love without completely depleting your social reserves.

(Extroverts: it may help to understand the definition of introversion before you go further.)

Valentine’s Day Ideas That Won’t Exhaust You

1. Start with self-care.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am one of self-care’s biggest proponents. Most people don’t take enough time to stop and smell the roses or check in with themselves. Making time to care for your health — mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual — is a vital aspect of a quality life, especially for introverts.

For some, self-care looks like taking a long run. For others, it may be letting themselves take a much-needed nap. My personal favorite is turning on an aromatherapy diffuser and filling my bathtub with bubbles (this is second only to time with animals).

Recently, practicing mindfulness has become another key aspect of self-care — and for good reason. Taking a couple minutes out of the day to breathe and check in with your mental state has numerous benefits, one of which is relieving anxiety. If you’re anything like me, when you have a social event in your near future, your anxiety spikes. And that’s the last thing you want to happen before your hot Valentine’s Day date!

So, in the days leading up to the 14th, take a walk, do some mindfulness meditation (my favorite app for this is called Breathe), and run that bubble bath. Store up your social reserves for when you need it most, and you’ll find you’re ready to be present with your extroverted sweetheart.

And definitely incorporate self-care into your Valentine’s Day celebrations — even extroverts need to stop and smell the roses every once in a while.

2. Spoil them at a fancy restaurant.

There is nothing more overstimulating than dining in a restaurant where you can’t even hear yourself think, much less pay attention to the person across the table.

However, most couples have a favorite restaurant. I don’t mean your go-to one. I mean the one you wish you could go to more often, but because of your discipline and bank account, you only go to for special occasions. Chances are this particular venue is lit by real candles and has classical music piped throughout, making it perfect for the quiet, personal conversations introverts thrive upon.

Valentine’s Day is a special occasion, my friends! Just go and make the most of the quiet romance.

3. Host a dinner party for mutual friends.

Now, I know this sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. We all know the introvert’s worst nightmare is milling about making small talk, and that is exactly what comes to mind when the words “dinner party” are spoken. But it can be an entirely different experience if you’re the one hosting.

Let me walk you through this: Guests arrive, you say your hellos, then leave them with your extroverted honey because you have to work on dinner. And notice, I said mutual friends. Chances are that the one or two guests who will hang out with you as you slave over dinner will be your besties.

So, you get the best of both worlds: The extrovert gets to chat with as many people as they desire and you get excused from small talk as you prepare the meal and hang out with your favorite people. Now that’s a win in my book.

4. Adventure by day, home by night.

This one is pretty obvious. Spend the day adventuring but cozy up by the fireplace at night. If you’re like me, you hate having a social outing hanging over your head the whole day, and the thought of going home and decompressing at the end of the day is relieving. So, during the day, go on a hike or to an early evening concert, a matinee play, or a movie. Then, end the day with dessert at home.

5. Make dinner together.

Couples who cook together stay together. Spend the week before Valentine’s Day dreaming up the perfect meal. This works whether you’re a steak and potatoes or a fish and veggies couple. And even if one of you likes steak and the other likes fish, you’ll both satisfy your cravings and spend a whole lot of quality time together laughing over the inevitable “spilled milk.” If it flops, you can always order a heart-shaped pizza.

6. Explore your city at night.

There is something universally magical about cities at night. Ride a lit-up ferris wheel, stroll the streets dressed in sparkling lights, and stop in whatever restaurant or bar tickles your fancy. Bonus points if you find an interactive bar. Your extroverted sweetie can please the crowd doing karaoke while you film it in the corner. The hustle and bustle of rush hour traffic will have long passed but the excitement of exploration and the romance of the lights will surely please you both.

7. Take a weekend getaway.

This is the big one, of course. By taking a few days together to explore a little town or relax on the beach, there will be plenty of time for introvert and extrovert activities. But most of all, lots of quality time with your valentine. 

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Read this: 9 Secrets About Dating an Introvert

Image credit: @alesha_macarosha via Twenty20

An INFJ at heart, Lauren is currently studying for her masters in Marriage and Family Therapy in the rainy, evergreen state of Washington. In all her imagined free time, she enjoys reading historical romance, watching dog videos, planning trips to places she cannot afford, and stress baking. She is a firm believer that there are no ordinary people; everyone has some extraordinary in them.