As an “extroverted” introvert, you may like being around others, but that doesn’t mean you want to interact with them nonstop.
When you hear about introversion, does it feel like it’s describing you? Perhaps some characteristics sound like you, but others may not. For instance, you love spending time alone, are not a fan of small talk, and feel really drained after spending too much time with others. But… you also have a large circle of friends, like socializing, and don’t mind being the center of attention.
You may very well be an “extroverted” introvert — or in other words, someone who falls closer to the middle of the introversion/extroversion continuum. Here are some of the signs.
15 Signs You May Be an ‘Extroverted’ Introvert
1. You find people interesting — and even like meeting new people.
As an introvert, you love to people-watch but you also like to meet new people (even if it’s a little scary). You like asking them about their lives and getting to know them better — not like you want to do this all the time though. And, despite your interest in people, you still prefer small amounts of socializing at a time.
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2. You don’t mind reaching out to others and hosting events.
More often than not, you are the one who organizes social events for others, since being stuck at a party is a big fear of yours. (You know you’ll want to escape once you reach your social limit.) This makes being the host the ideal job for you as an extroverted introvert — you can spend time with people on your own terms and when the event is over, it’s over.
3. You enjoy being around people (even among larger groups).
Most introverts prefer spending time alone or with just a few close friends who “get” them — those in their inner circle. But social gatherings and talking to strangers don’t bother you (not too much, anyway). However, unlike most extroverts, you can only handle this for so long; once you reach your social battery limit, you feel depleted.
4. You need time between social events.
Extroverts are usually able to socialize every day, as well as all week long — and still feel energized by all the activity. But as an extroverted introvert, you may like the idea of a super-social lifestyle, but the reality is you can’t do it nonstop. Even if you have a couple events in one day, you need alone time between them to reset and recharge.
5. You often change your mind about plans at the last minute.
You can plan and look forward to an event for weeks, but on the much-anticipated day, the introvert part of you comes out and you suddenly want to stay home. Even thinking about getting ready to go out makes you feel anxious. Despite how much you were looking forward to it, it can be hard to explain the sudden change of heart to your friends, especially to the extroverts.
6. You make new connections, but they don’t always last.
When you’re out and about socializing, you often meet people you’d like to stay in touch with. But once you return to your daily life, you don’t make a conscious effort to do so. It’s not that you are rude or you planned to break the promise intentionally, but you know how much time and effort it would take to build a new friendship. Instead, the introvert in you prefers to reach out to your already-established friends.
Do ever you struggle to know what to say?
As an introvert, you actually have the ability to be an amazing conversationalist — even if you’re quiet and hate small talk. To learn how, we recommend this online course from our partner Michaela Chung. Click here to check out the Introvert Conversation Genius course.
7. You prefer certain social settings to others.
A get-together at someone’s house may be fine, but an event somewhere crowded and noisy is not your thing. Sometimes, the energy of the group can raise yours; other times, it can really drain you. So while the extroverted part of you may have a “the more, the merrier” mentality, the introvert part of you would like to socialize in an introvert-friendly environment.
8. You ask others questions more so than talk.
To avoid talking just to talk, you tend to ask a lot of questions — and, in doing so, people may think you’re quite the extrovert. The thing is, you are sincerely interested in people and enjoy listening to what others have to say. But the introvert in you also knows that, the more others talk, the less you have to.
9. You go off by yourself sometimes when you’re in large group settings.
As an extroverted introvert, sometimes you want to be around others, but you don’t necessarily want to interact with them: Being surrounded by their energy is enough and you don’t feel the need to talk. Similarly, you enjoy going to public places where there are a good number of people around, yet you also make sure there are areas where you can get some alone time, whether that means the bathroom or stepping outside for a few moments. This way, you get the socializing you may crave while also getting pockets of alone time.
10. You’re in your head (even when surrounded by others).
Part of the reason why socializing is so exhausting for introverted extroverts is because you’re trying to engage with the outside world and with your own mind at the same time. Being an introvert means you spend most of your time in your own head, overthinking and overanalyzing situations. Should I have said that? Am I talking enough? What should I say next? But the extroverted part of you also wants to participate in the conversations around you.
11. You’re very selective when it comes to friends.
You might be comfortable socializing with many different people, but your true inner circle of friends is small and limited to select people. There are only a few you truly feel connected to, but this isn’t something that bothers you. Having only a few close friends allows your relationships to be deeper and more authentic.
12. You prefer texting and emailing, but can also talk on the phone for hours.
For introverts, it takes a lot of energy to try and have a meaningful conversation over the phone. So you probably prefer to send a text or an email. And many introverts loathe phone calls — when we call someone back, for example, we often secretly hope they won’t answer. But when you’re an extroverted introvert, you sometimes spend hours on the phone with your best friend (or someone in your inner circle). This tends to occur when you have something deep to discuss — something you’re passionate about, or your hopes and dreams (or theirs, since we’re great listeners).
13. You prefer meaningful conversations.
Every conversation is different, which means the energy it takes to be part of one can fluctuate wildly, whether it’s on the phone (see above) or in person. Not all conversations will wear you out — some may even energize you, especially if you’re talking about in-depth topics that interest you. Although a conversation may start out as small talk, once you and the person connect, it can turn into deeper, more meaningful talk.
14. You don’t mind being in the spotlight (now and then).
If you are an extroverted introvert, being the center of attention isn’t always a bad thing. You might even enjoy it if it’s something you’re passionate about — maybe you do improv, or are an actor or musician. Or maybe you’re good at public speaking, so talking in work meetings or giving presentations doesn’t bother you either. (But, afterwards, you need time to yourself to recharge.)
15. You’re often mistaken for an extrovert.
Oftentimes, people who don’t know you well may mistake you for an extrovert. You have more social skills than you can handle, and your leadership skills — and outgoing nature — make you seem confident in social situations. Speaking of leaders, many U.S. presidents and First Ladies were (and are) introverts, too, from Abraham Lincoln to Jill Biden, respectively. But even though you may look and act like an extrovert, at the end of the day, all you want is some good old-fashioned alone time to regroup and recharge.
There Is No ‘Right’ or ‘Wrong’ Way to Be an Introvert
Even with all of these signs that you may be an extroverted introvert, you must keep in mind there is no “right” or “wrong” way to be an introvert: We all act introverted sometimes and extroverted at others. But it’s all about understanding what you need to be able to function in your daily life and then doing whatever makes you feel comfortable. That may mean being the life of the party one day and curling up in bed with a good book the next.
So, are you an extroverted introvert? What are some examples? I would love for you to share your thoughts in the comments below!
You might like:
- If You Relate to These 10 Signs, You’re Probably an ‘Extroverted’ Introvert
- Inside the Mind of an ‘Extroverted’ Introvert
- Why Is Socializing Exhausting for Introverts? Here’s the Science
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