Need Advice? Here’s Why You Should Seek Out an Introvert

An introvert gives a friend advice

Introverts are like detectives — they process information well, and view your issues and concerns as a puzzle for them to figure out. 

If you’re lucky, you have someone you can go to for advice. I’m that person for my friends. I’ve been helping people with their problems since I was a child. I always try to give the best advice, and so far, I’ve never had any complaints. No one has ever said that my advice was useless or worsened the situation they were in.

I’m definitely not the wisest woman on the planet, nor am I a healthcare professional… but I am an introvert. You may wonder what being an introvert has to do with giving great advice. Let me explain. We introverts have certain personality traits that make us exceptional at analyzing problems and finding helpful solutions.

Here are eight reasons why you need to seek out an introvert when you need advice.

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7 Reasons Why Introverts Give the Best Advice

1. They listen with open ears and hearts, and won’t make you feel as if you’re talking too much.

Being a good listener should be a skill everybody has, but, sadly, that’s not the case. Many people pretend to listen, but are thinking about a million other things or checking their phones instead of truly listening.

An engaged introvert will pick up on more than the words you say. They gather information from your tone, inflections, and even what you don’t say — they are pros at reading body language. When you ask an introvert for advice, they’ll hear you and not jump to conclusions. They don’t interrupt your flow, but allow you to finish your thoughts and get it all out before they say anything.

Introverts won’t hijack the conversation to make it all about them. They’ll give you the same consideration when you confide in them, asking for help that they’d want if the roles were reversed.

Best of all, introverts never make you feel as if they have more important things to do than listen to you. 

2. They are active thinkers and are great at problem-solving, which is what you want in an adviser.

With introverts, any information you give them doesn’t go in one ear and out the other. We “quiet ones” process information well, which is why we’re good at, and enjoy, studying. We view your issues and concerns as a puzzle for us to figure out. 

Introverts can also see connections between things and work out solutions that other people may miss. An active thinker is someone whose brain is sharp, and when they give advice, it’s not stale or unhelpful, but well-thought-out. 

When asking for advice, you want someone who doesn’t take things at face value, but instead, looks at the big picture. Introverts dig deeper to find imperfections, flaws in ideas and concepts, and opportunities in complications. If there’s a glitch in an answer, the introvert will find it before it has the chance to cause a negative reaction. They’re observant and perceptive, and they don’t miss much. When asked for advice, an introvert will use all their senses to help figure out a workable solution.  

3. They stay present, so you don’t have to constantly pull their attention back to you.

Asking for help, like advice, isn’t easy, and it can make you feel exposed. And if you’re anything like me, you’re pretty private when it comes to your personal life.

So when you open up to someone, you’re sharing your story and your concerns and asking for guidance, allowing them to see your flaws and vulnerabilities. What if you open up, and the person isn’t paying attention to you or doesn’t care? Well, fear not. We introverts will be happy to help!

We don’t make you compete for our attention. And we also prefer conversations that are one-on-one, so you’ll have our undivided attention. While introverts enjoy daydreaming and use their imaginations to work out problems, they never retreat into a fantasy world when it comes to helping you out.

4. They think before they speak, especially when sharing their thoughts and opinions.

Introverts choose their words carefully, and their words carry some weight. They’ll consider your problem and find possible solutions in their head before suggesting what actions you should take.

Introverts generally don’t speak because they love their own voices. Rarely, will an introvert choose to talk over writing, so you’ll never get bad advice from them. When they give you their input, you know they’ve put some thought into it.

People often accuse introverts of being “too quiet” or shy, but the truth is, introverts have much to stay — they just don’t feel the need to talk to fill up space. They are comfortable in silence and, in turn, focusing their attention on you and your issue(s).

Since introverts aren’t impulsive, they won’t give you the first piece of advice that comes to mind either, even if they have limited time.They want to be able to stand by their advice and be thorough in their input to you.

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Even if you’re usually the “quiet one,” you have a playful side — you just need to learn how to access it. Our partner Michaela Chung can teach you how to tell hilarious stories and to be funny in conversation and over text (even if you tend to overthink things and feel self-conscious in social situations). Click here to check out her online workshop, How to Be Funny in Conversation Without Trying Too Hard.

5. Introverts ask the right questions and get to the core of the issue.

Problems and issues aren’t always transparent, but can be buried deep inside. When this is the case, we may not be clear on what is bothering us. We try to put our concerns into words, but we may have trouble expressing our feelings. As a result, any advice we get may be confusing, and we may be unsure of how to implement it.

Sometimes, we can get so wrapped up in our problems that we can’t see any way out, and the solution feels out of reach. We need help and clarity, and the only way we can get it is to have it drawn out of us by being asked the right questions. 

Think of a detective questioning a suspect — their questions may seem random, but they’re anything but. The answers to the right questions provide clues. Introverts instinctually know the questions to ask to help get them the information they need to help you solve your mystery.

6. Introverts genuinely feel, and want, what’s best for you.

Introverts tend to be compassionate and empathic. They feel sympathetic and can put themselves in your position. They ask themselves what advice would help them in this situation — and if it could be applied to you.

If what works for them would not work for you, they will work from a place of empathy. Sometimes, you go to someone for advice, but you don’t actually need any. You only need someone to listen to you and offer a shoulder to cry on.

An introvert will be sensitive to your needs and will respect your boundaries. They don’t try to force their own agenda on anybody; even if they think their advice is fantastic, they won’t force it on you.

7. Introverts make great friends and you can trust them to a tee.

Going to our friends for advice is something that we all do. We know our friends will give us the best advice they can because they love and support us. So it’s not a leap to think that introverts, who make wonderful and trustworthy friends, would also be the ones to go to for advice.

Introverts choose their friends carefully, and once they consider someone a friend, the introvert is loyal to the end. They wouldn’t want you to follow bad advice or suffer any consequences for something they said. Your happiness makes them happy.

You know your introverted friends will always have your back. They’ll keep your secrets to themselves and won’t tell anyone anything you told them in confidence. They won’t use you and your troubles as a cautionary tale to someone else, and won’t make you the butt of the joke at a social event. 

They know that when you share with them, you reveal a part of yourself, and they couldn’t live with themselves if they destroyed your trust. And isn’t that what we all want, a friend who cares enough about us to help us with our problems so intelligently and compassionately?

Introverts, what would you add to this list? I’d love to hear in the comments below!

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