7 Things Introverts Are Tired of Hearing

An introvert covering her ears

“You can’t stay in! It’s Friday night.” Can you imagine if introverts said something similar to extroverts, like, “You can’t go out! It’s Friday night.”

It’s not always easy being an introvert. In fact, we’re often misunderstood — people assume that just because we like spending time alone (which we need to recharge), there must be something wrong with us. But that’s far from the case!

Similarly, we may do other things that people (like extroverts) don’t get, such as staying in on a Friday night instead of going to that party that everyone is going to. 

So, without further ado, here are common things we introverts are tired of hearing.

7 Things Introverts Are Tired of Hearing

1. “Why are you so shy?!”

This is by far the most common way others like to describe introverts. It’s the never-ending question of “Why are you so shy?” It’s usually coming from people who know literally nothing about you. They just assume because you don’t want to have a full-blown conversation with everyone you meet, that it’s due to shyness. 

But guess what? There’s a difference between being introverted vs. being shy — being an introvert is more innate while being shy is a fear that can be worked on. Plus, not everyone needs constant chatter to get themselves through the day. We introverts simply enjoy our peace and quiet. It helps us focus and think clearly. We enjoy being in our heads and just analyzing what’s on our minds. We shouldn’t have to fight to be ourselves. 

And, when we want to, we like to talk — usually, by having a deep conversation with someone we know instead of small talk with many people we don’t.

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2. “You seem sad. Are you okay?”

Being quiet usually does not automatically mean something is “wrong.” Some people just feel more comfortable keeping to themselves, whether it’s with a good book or just being holed up in the corner of a cafe minding their own business. 

For example, when I was in high school, I was labeled “quiet girl” — that’s what people would call me. I would go to school and read or listen to music by myself. I was new in town, and anytime the popular kids passed me, they would laugh hysterically, then repeat “Quiet Girl” over and over again for no reason (other than they saw me alone). They also called me emotionless. Me? I’m one of the most sensitive and emotionally- driven people I know. 

To this day, I don’t know what they got out of teasing — and labeling — me, but that’s on them. I just wanted to read my book and get through the day, and still do. 

3. “You can’t stay in! It’s Friday night!”

This is an unnecessary stereotype to have to deal with. Introverts get labeled weird because they would rather stay home on a Friday or Saturday night than go hit up some big party with way too many people in a tiny space. Some people can’t understand why introverts would rather end the night with a hot bath and their favorite book when they could be out partying until the wee hours. But, the truth is, that’s just what brings us joy. 

On the other hand, nobody looks down on extroverts for wanting to party and be social constantly. But, for introverts, our social meters run out faster. For us, the energy it takes to be around people, and be involved in constant conversation, takes a lot out of us. We only have so much to give. It’s not something we can control — it’s just how we are.

And, after our energy is up, we need time alone in a comfortable environment, like our introvert sanctuary. We need this time to recharge so we can be ready for more social outings in the future, even if that means a small dinner with family or friends. 

4. “You need to learn how to come out of your shell.”

Many people may not get why introverts want to keep to themselves more often than not. As a result, they may tell us we “just need to come out of our shell.” But that’s not what we want to do or how we are wired.

People, like extroverts, often don’t understand that we introverts prefer a different way of life and that’s perfectly normal. (It’s just not “normal” to them.)

I had this one best friend who would constantly put me down and belittle me because I wanted to stay home. I didn’t want to party or constantly be around lots of people like she did. 

Remember, introverts, you don’t have to change for anyone. Somebody who expects that of you does not have your best interest at heart and you don’t need them in your life. You need people who can actually be in your corner because they actually understand you, or want to get to know and understand you.

5. “Don’t you get lonely? You never want to be around people.”

People always think that introverts are lonely. But we’re not! We have friends and family just like extroverts do. The thing is, we tend to have a small, close-knit circle of people around us, those who “get” us. For us, it’s all about quality over quantity. 

So surround yourself with people who make you feel like you can be your most authentic self and treat them like gold for giving that to you, because it’s the most important thing any introvert could ask for. It usually takes more time and energy to befriend an introvert, but our loyalty is unwavering. 

Plus, there’s no reason for us to be lonely, as we can be with others anytime we’d like. We just don’t “need” people 24/7 like extroverts do. 

6. “Why don’t you care what I have to say?”

An introvert can come across as “rude,” especially if their social energy has run out. So don’t take it personally if your introverted friends aren’t contributing much to the conversation. Sometimes, they just need some solitude to recharge their energy. They still care about you, but need time on their own, as well. 

Plus, sometimes, we literally just do not want to talk. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it can make other people uncomfortable, especially in this noisy world we live in.

Yes, introverts are comfortable in silence. We spend much more time thinking than speaking. If we decide to share our thoughts with you, I hope you understand how meaningful that is. It means we trust you completely. That’s not easy for us, so please don’t take it for granted. It’s a huge step for us and we don’t take it lightly. 

7. “You’re so boring! You need to loosen up if you want to make friends.”

Okay, this one is just insulting. Introverts get called “boring” just because they don’t always want to talk or be surrounded by a lot of people. Again, sometimes they just want to stay home and be on their own, as that’s soothing to them. 

Think about it: Why would somebody expect you to change who you are just to fit in with others? Especially when that goes against everything that makes you who you are and brings you the comfort you need to operate?

Introverts, we’re not boring just because we have different interests, and needs, than those who need to be on the go all the time. You have to be yourself. Do the things you enjoy doing! And if someone has a problem with it, ask yourself why you’re permitting them to be in your life.

Introverts, what would you add to the list? Comment down below!

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