Introverts and the inner flame {Quote of the Week}

In group settings, we introverts tend to blend into the background. We like it there, because we can observe without calling attention to ourselves. It’s easy for others to overlook us, but when they do step away from the action for a moment and spend time with us, they quickly notice the quiet intensity burning within us. In her book, The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World, Sophia Dembling explains:

Introverts might seem dull to some people because we are likely to sit quietly in the corner, speaking little, our faces impassive. But those who slow down, sit down, and look us in the eye might see that our inner flame burns brightly and puts out some heat.

Fueling our inner flame with alone time, conversation, art, information, and meaning makes all the difference—for ourselves and others around us. Again, from Dembling:

So introverts learn to tend our inner flame, closing the door to our office when we need it to burn brightest; fueling it with substantial conversation and meaningful movies, books, and artwork; avoiding as much as possible situations that might overwhelm it. Given a chance, our inner flame ignites our conversations and kindles our creative output. It is the heat of our passion, which can be hot indeed if given the space and proper fuel. When properly tended, our inner flame lights up not only our lives but the lives of people around us, if they take the time to see it.

What’s your personality type? We recommend this free, quick test from our partner Personality Hacker.

Jenn Granneman is the founder of and the author of The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World. Jenn is a contributor to Psychology Today, HuffPost, Susan Cain’s Quiet Revolution, Upworthy, The Mighty, The Muse, Motherly, and a number of other outlets. She has appeared on the BBC and in Buzzfeed and Glamour magazine. Jenn started Introvert, Dear because she wanted to write about what it was like being an introvert living in an extrovert's world. Now she's on a mission: to let introverts everywhere know it's okay to be who they are.