Introverts are not known for being forthright, which can make you wonder if they like you as a person — or romantically.
We introverts are not always, um, forthright and talkative. So when it comes to liking someone romantically, things can get tricky. How are we supposed to let them know? Are there non-verbal ways to tell them without telling them? Or, conversely, how do we know if an introvert likes us? Dating can be a struggle for an introvert, that’s for sure!
Here are nine signs an introvert likes you. If someone you know is exhibiting the indicators below, you can be pretty sure they’re interested in you as more than a friend.
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9 Signs an Introvert Likes You (As More Than a Friend)
1. They share their hopes and dreams with you.
As you probably know, we introverts are private people — we rarely discuss things near and dear to our hearts with just anybody. Our interests and passions are well-kept secrets that we only reveal to our well-trusted confidants, friends who “get” us.
Yet our interests and passions are key components of who we are. While others may value the possessions they own or the social connections they have, we introverts protect our interests and hobbies like valuable heirlooms.
So, what if an introvert shares their inspiration with you? If they tell you about their passions, interests, and aspirations, then you are probably someone they trust and see as an important part of their life.
If an introvert doesn’t like you, they’d likely keep that information to themselves. But because they value you and your relationship so highly, they are willing to open up and expose deeper aspects of themselves with you.
2. They share their innermost thoughts with you.
Introverts don’t generally share much about their inner lives; they keep their thoughts to themselves. As a result, they often surprise others with big, life-changing decisions when, in reality, they thought deeply about these decisions for a long time.
Only with a select few people, introverts share the details inside their head — their thoughts and their worries, the good news and the bad. If you are one of those people, then you probably play a big role in this introvert’s life.
Okay, let’s take something simple, like talking about your day. For you, it might be natural to tell people what you liked and didn’t like, but for an introvert, they may not share this information readily. Rather, they share those details with a small and trustworthy set of people, including you.
3. They move closer to you when you’re talking, and may touch your hand or arm.
It’s no secret that introverts need their personal space, whether they’re around people or not. If you crowd an introvert, they might feel uncomfortable and awkward. It’s rare for an introvert to invite others into their personal bubble — it is their safe space, a space they can control.
So, what does it mean when an introvert moves closer to you, physically? Now, this is a big step, for it is something an introvert reserves for their family and closest friends. If they are closing that personal gap, they think of you as someone special.
Physical touch is even more telling. Not only is this introvert close to you, proximity-wise, but they are also creating a physical connection between the two of you. (Most of the time, introverts try to prevent physical contact with people they don’t know, like, or trust!) When they initiate physical contact, they are sending you a powerful message: They want to be closer to you and they are letting you enter their safe personal space — and that alone signifies a deeper bond.
4. They think of you when you’re not together — they’ll text you and wish you good luck.
Many introverts don’t like to be put on the spot when it comes to expressing themselves. Instead, we prefer to think about something a while before we say it or use a controlled written medium to get across our thoughts. This is where writing a letter, email, or text comes into play.
Through writing, the introvert who likes you can reveal their feelings to you in the best way they can. Whether they share all the complicated thoughts cycling through their head, tell you a funny story, or wish you good luck with something you’d told them about (like a big meeting at work), their written communication will mean one thing — they care about you. (Believe me, we don’t just send anyone messages like this!)
5. They share their creative endeavors with you, which is no small feat!
Many introverts are notoriously creative — you might be surprised by the hobbies they maintain. If an introvert likes you, they will want to share their creative endeavors with you. Let’s say they play music in their free time — they may play you songs they wrote (and even sing in front of you!). It’s not because they want to brag or show off. It’s because they want to involve you in the most personal aspects of their lives.
Introverts pour a lot of thought and feeling into their hobbies. Sharing them with another person feels intimate and risky, but with the right person, the introvert will show just how creative they can be.
6. They’ll (actually) approach you (which introverts don’t do 99.9 percent of the time).
Introverts rarely make the first move. Often we rely on others to start conversations. Sometimes introverts lack the confidence to approach others. Other times, they have plenty of confidence, but they feel better when they have an “in” to join the conversation.
It’s important to understand just how significant this behavior is. Approaching others may seem like nothing for an extrovert, but this simple action is a big deal for us introverts. When we approach you, it carries more weight and demonstrates that our intention has changed.
If an introvert approaches you, they’re not just looking for small talk, they’re not playing around or just having fun — they’re really interested in you! They’re so interested that they defy their reserved nature. Since introverts may be less experienced at starting conversations, the interaction might be a little awkward. But this is just further proof that they were willing to go the distance because they like you.
7. They’ll talk — really talk — to you (much more than small talk).
As we all know, most introverts don’t like small talk — we’d rather have deep conversations about subjects that are meaningful to us. For example, we’d probably rather stay silent than chat with a stranger on the bus about the weather. But when an introvert is interested in you, they may set aside their distaste for small talk. They’ll ask you about everyday things and will show interest in these subjects and ask even more questions. Why? Because they want to know more about you.
So pay attention to how they talk to you. It may be the clue you’re looking for.
8. They’ll initiate communication — texts, phone calls, you name it.
This clue is related to #4. We all know introverts are not a fan of phone calls — but this behavior may change if they like you (at least in the courting stages).
While it’s true that introverts usually prefer texting, they may break out of their comfort zone and call you. Although they may not be the chattiest person at first, once you hit on a topic that interests both of you, watch out!
Are you an introvert who shuts down around the people you’re attracted to?
As an introvert, you actually have the amazing ability to be irresistible, without forcing yourself to talk more. It all starts with recognizing the most common myths about dating and learning a framework for fun, flirty conversations — no extroversion needed. To learn how to connect with your true sensuality, relax, and open up on dates, we recommend Michaela Chung’s online courses for introverted men and introverted women.
9. They’ll share how they’re feeling about you — out loud.
By this point, you know introverts would rather write how they’re feeling than actually say it out loud. Texting, emailing, and letter writing may be easier forms of communication for them, because their brains are wired a little differently than the brains of extroverts. But once they’re comfortable with you, they’ll be more likely to share their feelings with you. Until this point, you may have no idea (or not be 100 percent sure).
Remember, everyone feels vulnerable expressing their feelings, especially introverts, who tend to be private and reserved. So, rest assured, if they are doing the things on this list, they like you.
You might like:
- How to Date an Introvert (Advice From an Extrovert)
- 7 Dating Tips for Introverts Who Are Tired of Being Single
- Will I Be Single Forever? 6 Introvert Dating Struggles
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