Why being in the ‘outer world’ exhausts introverts {Quote of the Week}

If you’re an introvert, you probably feel like crawling into a deep dark hole for a while after a busy weekend. While extroverted friends are still riding the high of hanging out, you’re going into recovery mode. What most people don’t understand is that social activities, small talk, and busy environments—basically anything that removes us introverts from our inner world—eventually drains us. In this thoughtful quote, Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, author of The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child: Helping Your Child Thrive in an Extroverted World, explains the exhausting mental shift that occurs when introverts must interact with the outer world:

Give this some thought: Everything an innie does in the outside world requires energy and gives little or no energy in return. Add to this the fact that innies also have to expend extra fuel to keep their internal stimulation turned down so that they can shift to an external focus. Extroverts, on the other hand, go into the outside world and bask in its vitality. They are already focused externally so it doesn’t require a shift. This difference has a huge impact on how innies and outies experience socializing and, in turn, how they are perceived.

Hiding in a deep dark hole (a.k.a. being alone in your own bedroom, or whatever recharging activity you prefer) isn’t anti-social. Not only does it return you to your preferred internal world of ideas and feelings, but it’s also a must to stay happy and energized.

What’s your personality type? Take this free, quick test from our partner Personality Hacker.

Read more quotes

Jenn Granneman is the founder of IntrovertDear.com and the author of The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World. Jenn is a contributor to Psychology Today, HuffPost, Susan Cain’s Quiet Revolution, Upworthy, The Mighty, The Muse, Motherly, and a number of other outlets. She has appeared on the BBC and in Buzzfeed and Glamour magazine. Jenn started Introvert, Dear because she wanted to write about what it was like being an introvert living in an extrovert's world. Now she's on a mission: to let introverts everywhere know it's okay to be who they are.