How to Survive High School According to a Teenage Introvert
From bustling hallways to group projects, it’s clear the school system wasn’t made for introverts. But that doesn’t mean we can’t thrive in it.
Here’s how a typical school year looks for me: The month before school starts, I’m so excited that I drag my mom to Target and make her buy me all the pretty notebooks and paper. Ah, the smell of fresh college-ruled notebook paper — absolute heaven.
The night before school starts, I can’t sleep — I have too much nervous energy.
On the first day of school, I come home completely drained. How in the world am I supposed to survive this for a whole year?!
And on the last day of school, I cheer when the final bell rings.
Sound familiar, introverts?
For a teenage introvert, this cycle can feel never-ending. But take it from someone with plenty of experience: There’s hope! You don’t have to leave school every day feeling like you’ve been hit by a bus. School-aged introverts — and parents of introverted kids — there are things you can do to stay positive and keep your introvert battery as full as possible. Yes, even during the school year.
Here’s how teenage introverts can survive school.
How Teenage Introverts Can Survive School
1. Remember, it’s not always people that drain you, it’s stimulation.
Introverts’ brains respond differently to stimulation than extroverts’ brains do — and stimulation is everywhere at school. Usually, when I come home feeling like I’ve been flattened by a ton of textbooks, it’s because I spent a lot of time around very draining people on top of all the other energy-sucking stuff school requires: small talk, school events, social hierarchies… you name it.
If we can remember that it’s the stimulation that’s making us feel like stale gum on the underside of a desk, we can start to pinpoint what’s draining us and limit it. For example, if there’s one person in your third period who drains you twice as fast as everyone else combined, try to limit how much time you spend with them.
Of course, that’s not always possible. School is still school — group projects and friends of friends exist whether we like it or not. That’s when it helps to look at other sources of stimulation, like noise.
When I’m feeling overwhelmed by noise, I take a break between classes or during lunch to go outside or pop in my earbuds with some relaxing music (earbuds = a must!). Seriously, just taking the long way to class through an empty hallway or slipping outside for a few minutes can really boost my happiness.
2. Do something during the day that you actually enjoy.
Most of the time, my schedule is so routine it feels pointless. Wake up, go to school, learn math and English and Spanish and chemistry, go home, do it all over again in the form of homework, repeat. Sometimes, when my extroverted friends ramble on and on about the cool things happening in their lives, I catch myself wondering, “Why don’t I ever do anything interesting?”
But here’s the thing: The interesting things I do aren’t always the kind you can turn into long, dramatic stories — and that doesn’t make them any less meaningful. Doing something fun during the day, even something small, can boost your mood and help keep you from going home completely wiped out.
Try a science club. Take a class on writing or drawing. Join a sports or debate team. You don’t have to be all-in on school spirit to find one thing you enjoy.
Honestly, it could be anything. Play some Disney music and sing with your friends. Have a deep conversation about the meaning of life — or which Harry Potter book is the best (both critical questions, obviously). Tell a dad joke. Read for a few minutes when you get to class early. Write down the funny things people say and reread them later.
It doesn’t have to be big. Just make space for one little thing that makes you happy.
3. On your way home, think about what went right.
On the ride home from school, I try to remember the funniest thing that happened during the day. It always gets me laughing — and even if I’m feeling totally drained, reflecting on what went right helps me feel a little better.
I also come back to step two: I made a promise to do at least one thing I enjoyed, so I think about how I followed through. Maybe I got lost in thought, read another page of my book, talked to someone new, hugged my friends, or listened to music. As an introvert, I tend to remember entire conversations word for word. If one of them strikes me as funny, I let myself laugh out loud. And if one of them was incredibly awkward? I still laugh out loud, because honestly, the awkward ones are sometimes the funniest.
This little ritual helps put things in perspective. School isn’t always terrible, even if it sometimes feels like a soul-sucking energy vortex. This moment at the end of the day, when I take a second to remember the good stuff, is what helps me get up the next morning and drag myself back to school all over again.
4. Get the alone time you need after school.
When all is said and done, I’m still an introvert — and that means I need alone time to recharge after everything school throws at me.
But wait, what about homework? What about family time? What about hanging out with friends?
All of that matters, too. But I’ve learned that my brain won’t function properly until I’ve had at least a little quiet time to myself. Stimulation wears me out physically, not just mentally. Hanging out with friends can be great, but if someone asks me to do something right after school, I’m cautious. Sometimes it energizes me; other times it leaves me even more drained. It really depends on my mood and the situation. If I think my social battery can handle it, I’ll say yes. If not, I’ll tell my friend I’m busy and suggest another time.
And I am busy, just not in the way most people think. I’m giving my brain a chance to process everything it took in during the day, and some time to cool down. Even just 10 minutes alone to read, listen to music, or lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling can be enough. That short break gives me the energy to tackle homework, see people, or do anything else I need to do.
It’s what makes the rest of my day bearable.
5. Quit pretending to be an extrovert.
Sweet introvert, I get you. I’m a teenager too (I’m 17), and I know school is tough. There’s no getting around it. Friends, dates, grades, learning to drive, trying to be independent, and working part-time jobs for spare change — it’s a lot. And what makes it even harder? Pretending to be something you’re not. So quit trying to play the extrovert.
If you don’t want to go to the party, say no. If you do go and start feeling completely drained, go home early. If you don’t have the energy to contribute to the conversation, don’t sweat it.
I know it seems like all the “cool kids” are extroverted. And yeah, maybe some of them are. But that doesn’t mean you have to change your entire brain chemistry just to fit in. If someone won’t accept you as your introverted self, find people who will. I know that sounds like a load of Mom Advice, but honestly, mom was right. It might be hard in the moment, but it’s so worth it in the long run.
Think about it: In 10 years, when you look back on your high school years, do you want to remember pretending to be someone you weren’t? Or do you want to remember spending time with people who valued you for who you actually are — and actually enjoying yourself?
Pretending to be an extrovert will only leave you feeling more out of place. And with all its group projects, participation points, bustling hallways, and get-to-know-you games, the school system definitely wasn’t designed by introverts. But that doesn’t mean we can’t thrive in it.
You don’t have to drain your battery every single day. And you don’t have to hate school. Take it from a teenage introvert — you can make these years yours. 
