5 Annoying Questions That Introverts Are Tired of Hearing

An annoyed introvert

“So you didn’t do anything all weekend?”

Introverts deal with a lot of annoying comments and questions. I think it’s because we aren’t the extrovert ideal that society seems to idolize, so we are often on the receiving end of these questions, like something is “wrong” with us. (There isn’t, by the way.) We may be able to joke about it with others who get it, but it can be exhausting to deal with it from those who don’t.

Thinking about the questions I receive made me want to examine how I deal with them. How I want to respond and what I actually say are very different: My inner thoughts are vastly different from how I express myself. I don’t often express exactly what I think — it’s not always easy to do so. And what I think isn’t always the most polite thing to say, so I hold back. 

I’m curious: Can anyone else relate to these common — and annoying — questions we introverts receive?

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Annoying Questions That Introverts Are Tired of Hearing

1. “Why are you so quiet?”

Other variations include: “Why don’t you talk?” “Don’t you have anything to say?” and “Are you always this quiet?” 

Why it’s annoying and what I think: How am I supposed to answer that question?! I am baffled when I get that. What kind of answer are you expecting? I am quiet because I am. That’s it. I am an introvert and I am typically quiet. And that’s okay. 

Think about if the tables were turned and I asked, “Why do you talk so much? How can you just go on and on about nothing? Aren’t you tired from talking so much?” I can’t say that because that would be rude. I’d never

Truth be told, there are plenty of reasons I might not be talking. Quite simply, I may not have anything to say right now. Or this topic isn’t worth contributing to. And if there’s nothing to say, that means I’m gonna stay quiet. And there’s no need for you to point out my silence. This conversation is just small talk anyway, so can we move on? 

What I say: I shrug in an “I agree” kind of way.

2. “Why can’t we talk on the phone?”

Other variations include: “Why don’t you just call?” and “Why didn’t you answer when I called you?”

Why it’s annoying and what I think: I hate talking on the phone! Never, ever call me. It’s the worst. I can’t stand it. It’s usually unnecessary anyway. There’s no need for a phone call when an email or text will do. So many awkward pauses. So much dead air and wasted time. The best way to “call” me is by text message.         

What I say: “I’d rather you text.”

3. “So you didn’t do anything all weekend?”

Other variations include: “Why do you want to be home all weekend?” “You didn’t go anywhere?” and “Don’t you get bored being all by yourself?”

Why it’s annoying and what I think: Being at home is wonderful! Why don’t you understand that? No, I’m not bored; I’m at peace. I’m finally able to disconnect and recharge. I don’t have to interact with people. I don’t have to be bothered. I can just be! I have to deal with people all week… Can’t I have a break? I need a lot of alone time in order to be a functioning human being. It’s okay to just have some time to myself and just be. Can we normalize spending time alone?… Please?!

What I say: “I had a chill weekend. It was nice.”

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4. “Are you okay?”

Other variations include: “What’s wrong with you?” and “Why do you look so mean (or mad or sad)?” and “Smile; it can’t be that bad.”

Why it’s annoying and what I think: Well, now I’m annoyed because some random person thinks they can tell me how my face ought to look. It’s just my face. Can’t I just sit here without you criticizing it? Who has a smile on their face all the time, anyway? I’m fine. And 99.5% of the time, nothing is wrong. This is how my face looks when it’s neutral. I just want to sit here, in peace, and not be bothered. If you don’t like my face, then don’t look at it.

What I say: “Nothing, I’m fine.” Or I fake a smile as if to say, “See? Everything is fine.”  

5. “Why don’t you want to go out?”

Other variations include: “You wanna go to this party? It should be a lot of fun!”

Why it’s annoying and what I think: No, I don’t want to go out. Why? Because I just don’t. There is no explanation that will make sense to someone who doesn’t understand how nice it is to be at home. I want to be alone. And I don’t just want it, I need it. I have dealt with people all week. After all that, do I want to go to a loud, crowded, overstimulating party full of strangers? A night full of no personal space, small talk, loud talking, and drama? No thank you.  

What I say: “Thanks, but I already have plans.” I don’t expand further.

Bonus Question

This next question isn’t annoying, but there still is a difference between what I think and what I say. Truthfully, this is probably an introvert’s favorite question!

“Do you mind if we reschedule?”

Other variations include: “Can we do this another time?” and “Hey. I’m sorry I have to cancel, is that okay?”

Why it’s not annoying and what I think: Hooray! Oh, thank God! I was already so tired, I didn’t know how I was going to make it. I was already done and we hadn’t even gotten started yet. I was trying to think of my excuse to leave early, or not go at all, and you beat me to the punch! You will almost never find me upset about canceled plans! Now where are my yoga pants and blanket?

What I say: “Yeah, that’s no problem. Maybe another time.” (I try to hide the excitement in my voice.)

Maybe one day, I’ll really  say what I think when I get asked these questions. 

Fellow introverts, are there any questions that you hate getting? How do you respond? What do you really want to say? Comment below!

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