14 Pickup Lines That Introverts Will Actually Love

Josh Higgins was at a party. He spotted someone he really wanted to talk to, another loner type like himself. But in typical introvert fashion, he never worked up the nerve to approach them. In frustration, he went home and drew a little doodle. It said, “I’d love to avoid everybody at this dumb party with you.”

That was the birth of what would later become a charming project called Introflirted — illustrated pickup lines, love notes, and affirmations for introverts. After the party, Josh realized he often encountered a common introvert problem: He wanted to talk to someone attractive or interesting, but he didn’t know what to say. Through drawing, he could express those funny, whimsical, and sometimes flirty thoughts he wanted to communicate.

Here are 14 of his drawings. All 31 of them are available now for purchase as a book of love notes — just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Today, Josh Ryan Higgins is a 33-year-old designer, illustrator, and absurdist artist based in Houston, TX. By day, he’s a UX/UI designer for a startup; by night, he makes products and illustrations. His goal is to connect people through shared experience, emotional vulnerability, and humor. “I’m finding a lot of those parts of me that I thought were weird aren’t so weird,” he told me via email. “That’s all come from everyone sharing their own.”

Although Josh enjoys entertaining people, he says he’s an introvert at heart who needs to recharge alone a lot. It was only recently that he realized what an introvert is and that he is one. Growing up, he attended school with the same small group of kids, so socializing was fairly easy. It wasn’t until later in life that his introverted tendencies became clear. “Making this project really helped me come to terms with being an introvert and find ways to still be social and expressive without overloading myself,” he told me.

His favorite introvert recharge activity? “Naps. I love a good 10-15 minute nap. I probably get 1-2 in per day.”

Music is another way he recharges and changes his mood. He’s collected lots of playlists for his different moods, including introvert-specific “mixtapes.” If you want to listen along, you can find the playlists here on his website, or search “Introvert Mixtape” on Spotify.

His advice to everyone — but especially to introverts — is to find the people and places that make you feel comfortable. “The biggest change in my social confidence didn’t come from changes within me, but with who I surrounded myself with,” he told me. “When I’m surrounded by positive and supportive people in my life, I feel safe — like I can do almost anything.”

I asked Josh if he’s ever used any of his own pickup lines. “A lot of them are inspired by specific people and situations, but unfortunately, I’ve never had the will to try any of them out,” he admitted. However, sometimes he hears from other introverts who use his lines with their significant others, so he’s glad his work is inspiring some fun flirtation.

Introflirted: 31 Love Notes for Introverts makes a great Valentine’s gift for the special introverts in your life. Gift the entire book, or tear out the postcards (they’re perforated) and spread the love around — your best friend, roommate, significant other, or maybe even that cute stranger. Introflirted is available for purchase now through Amazon; buy it here.

Josh loves hearing people’s stories related to Introflirted. “It makes me feel like I’m not such an oddball,” he said. So if any of his love notes speak to your relationships, please leave a comment below. 

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Jenn Granneman is the founder of IntrovertDear.com and the author of The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World. Jenn is a contributor to Psychology Today, HuffPost, Susan Cain’s Quiet Revolution, Upworthy, The Mighty, The Muse, Motherly, and a number of other outlets. She has appeared on the BBC and in Buzzfeed and Glamour magazine. Jenn started Introvert, Dear because she wanted to write about what it was like being an introvert living in an extrovert's world. Now she's on a mission: to let introverts everywhere know it's okay to be who they are.