14 things introverts are sick of hearing during the holidays

    1. “You’re not going shopping on Black Friday? But the deals are so good!”



      All those people at 3 a.m.? No.

    2. “Are you coming to the Christmas party? Are you coming to the Christmas party? ARE YOU COMING TO THE CHRISTMAS PARTY?”



      Pressuring me does not make me want to go more.

    3. “Here, open this present in front of everyone.”


      Great, I love attention!

    4. “Don’t be such a Grinch. The holidays are the best time of the year!”

      Maybe if you’re an extrovert.

    5. “Honey, why don’t we host Thanksgiving dinner?”


      People? At my house?

    6. “You can’t be alone during the holidays.”


      But alone feels so good.

    7. “I don’t know why we don’t get together like this more often.”


      I know why.

    8. “It’s only your aunts, uncles, your cousins and their significant others, their kids, some friends, and the neighbors from across the street.”


      More than three people = I don’t want to go.

    9. “You’re not required to come to the office holiday party, but everyone will be there.”



      Socializing on a Saturday with people I have to see during the week? No.

    10. “If you don’t come to the party, you’ll feel like you’re missing out.”


      Missing what? Boring small talk?

    11. “You would have someone to bring home for the holidays if you tried online dating.”


      Because finding the love of my life is that easy.

    12. If you do bring your significant other to a family gathering: “When are you getting married?” or “When are you having kids?”


      That’s none of your business.

    13. “It’s New Years Eve, you  have to stay out until midnight.”

      But there is also my bed.

    14. “You’re leaving the party already?”


      Just let me go.

 What we want to hear…

“Let’s have an intimate, meaningful celebration with just a few people so we can focus on what really matters.”

Image credit: Deviant Art

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Read this: 21 Undeniable Signs That You’re an Introvert


  • Introvert != Depressed / Anti-Social / Hermit / Loner

    I don’t especially like large crowds of people either (though I’ve waited in midnight releases at EB for instance), I prefer to work solo or in very small groups (it’s how I get my inspiration and energy). I prefer to be at home with a few friends doing things we enjoy doing rather than go to a bar or a loud obnoxious party.

    But a LOT of these just sound more like light misanthropy or acute antisocial behaviour. Introversion isn’t “I don’t want to be around ANYBODY EVER GET AWAY FROM ME” because I myself am an introvert and always have been and know how uncomfortable it is to be within larger group contexts. But it’s also not “I’m doomed to be alone and I’ve accepted that”. You can be introverted AND have a large body of friends, easily maintain perfectly normal relationships (as I have, complete with daughter), and enjoy the company of the odd stranger here or there.

    You just don’t like the party hardy Dude-Bro extroverted “life of the party all day everyday” lifestyle. These people require being around as many people as possible and getting as much attention as they can muster in order to themselves feel inspired and do their best at what they do. Introversion (as we know) is simply the not that.

    If thought about in, say, military terms. An Extrovert can be a Platoon Commander (a large body of people), an Introvert can be like a Fireteam Leader (very tiny amount of people), while a Loner is the soldier trying to stay out of the spotlight of everybody. (Sorry for that analogy, been reading Tom Clancy lately)

    This all said.

    “Let’s have an intimate, meaningful celebration with just a few people so we can focus on what really matters.” is perfect. However, I don’t really want it said like that, WAY too formal. “Wanna come over for Dinner on Holidays and have some drinks around the fireplace? Maybe some hot chocolate or tea?”

    Allow me to specifically address one or two of these by the way:

    1. The deals are good for sure, and is sometimes worth the hassle of the crowd depending on what your object of desire is.

    2. Couldn’t agree more

    3. Why is opening a present nerve racking? Open it, smile, say “thank you” to whoever it is, and then your done. What’s the problem here? I’ve also never heard someone ask “Open this in front of everyone”, that’s not a normal phrase spoken by people regularly. Unless it is something pretty important to you by someone who really put their attention to it in particular, then that courtesy should be exchanged.

    4. Why? Why do you have to be an “Extrovert” to enjoy the holidays? I’ve enjoyed christmas every year as an introvert AND I’ve never been considered being a Grinch. You don’t have to like the holidays, but it has nothing to do with crowd size.

    5. Yes, people at YOUR house. This isn’t introversion talk, this is antisocial talk. Does it have to be an insane crowd? no. Keep it to people your comfortable being around and that’s it. No problems at all.

    6. Again, Introversion isn’t strictly about being alone or flying solo on purpose. There’s nothing wrong with it, but that’s not introversion, that’s antisocial.

    7. So you DON’T like this person then. Being introverted has nothing to do with frequency in which to get together with someone.

    I fondly remember calling a particular friend or two over very regularly over the years, the phrase was over the phone: “Smash?” to one, or “wanna shoot shit?” with the other. This meant either spending the evening playing Smash Bro’s and chatting about stupid shit, or heading over to the local LAN Center and playing a bunch of coop first person shooters until one of us starting passing out. Good times haha

    8. I can sympathize, large crowds suck. This is why when I’m over at a family gathering, im either trying to make the most of it the best I can, but I usually stick to chatting or hanging out with a very VERY select core of people(s) throughout the gathering.

    9. I take it you don’t have any friends at work. Because if you did, you’d know you could go, and just hang out with them all evening. With the exception being what I’m about to write below:

    10. Yes, I can totally agree with this one. Longstanding “parties” are oft boring as hell to me if I don’t have a friend I can hang around regularly. It’s worse when that friend is actually an extrovert and runs around the party socializing with everyone else as well as you on random occasion.

    11. I met the love of my life on POF, We met on there jsut under 6 years now, and we’ve been married for 2 years this new years eve. Yes, it IS that easy. Better than hanging out at the bar, or trying to pick someone up at some other social gathering (and especially speed dating, yuck).

    12. This is a conversation one is going to have even when your alone, except the question is “When ya gonna find someone? When ya gonna have babies? ” blah blah blah. It’s inevitable and you just gotta know how to field the question satisfactory enough to ward off the rest of the conversation. It aint hard, it aint even annoying.

    13. I do agree here haha I usually stay up to midnight and then immediately pass out, preferably in my own bed. However, I can’t do that anymore, I married my wife on New Years Eve haha

    14. “Yep. Ill catch ya [at the office on monday / next time]” is a very easy phrase to say. If pried, just say “Sorry, something came up and I gotta go, see ya later!”. Its a fabrication of the truth, as that truth is “I just wanna go home., This environment just isn’t my style and I’m not particularly having much fun” is a truth most party hosts and guests don’t want to hear, and you don’t typically want to hurt their feelings either. Everyone else is having a blast, and that’s totally fine, that’s their prerogative. Just like getting the hell out of dodge and maybe indulging in a pizza delivery at home on your own and catching up on a favorite show; is totally YOUR prerogative as well. And as such no one should give you hard time about it either.

    • Christy says:

      I totally agree, Kyle. I adore Christmas, I don’t mind the odd Christmas party, I love the massive family Christmas Eve get-together we always have, I have lovely memories of the one time I had an apartment big enough to have my siblings (and their spouses and children) over for Christmas day…and when it’s all over I am unutterably glad to go back to my own quiet routine. This list might pertain to certain introverts, but it certainly isn’t a picture of all of them.

  • Elisandra says:

    I remember getting really peeved and storming off one Christmas when my grandparents told me to show everyone my gift, when it was panties.

  • Georgio says:

    Thanks for blogging about this Jenn. It’s really helpful reading these thoughts and thinking ‘finally, others like me’. Extrovert-favouring western society makes one feel weird for having time alone, especially on Christmas Day. Thanks.

  • JELindholm says:

    Georgio, you took the words right out of my mouth. So much better to find some kindred spirits instead of being looked at like a lunatic when I don’t want to go to the Christmas party.