The introvert’s definition of fun {Quote of the Week}

ByJenn Granneman

It’s a typical Saturday night and you’re having dinner at a cozy, dimly-lit restaurant with your best friend. Or maybe you’re curled up at home on the couch in your pajamas, watching Netflix with your significant other or by yourself. If you’re at a party or out with a group of friends, you probably enjoy yourself for a while, but eventually you wish you were back home relaxing. You just seem to get your fill of socializing faster than others. In fact, you don’t need to be doing much to enjoy yourself. Sometimes it’s enough to just do your own thing at home, like reading, surfing the Internet or doing chores, while someone else is in the same room (talking to you only occasionally). The more relaxed, the better.

You’re an introvert, and you have a different definition of “fun.” Sophia Dembling, in her book, Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After, explains:

Introvert fun is a quiet kind of fun. We don’t always need a lot of action, we certainly don’t need a lot of people, and sometimes the smallest, most trivial pastimes make us the happiest. And it can be even better when we can find someone else who likes doing that not-much-of-anything with us.

When we feel good and our energy level is high (or if we feel an obligation to go), we introverts go to parties and hang out in large groups. But these activities usually aren’t our first choice, because the noise, people and activity tax our sensitive system and drain our social “battery” after a while. So it’s a great feeling when we can skip the small talk fest and spend time with someone who shares our definition of “fun”:

Introverts have come up with all sorts of strategies to get through—even enjoy, in our way—the kind of fun extroverts like. But that doesn’t mean those things are our first choice for fun, and it’s always particularly delightful to find another soul who can quietly enjoy quiet pleasures with us.

As an introvert, what’s your idea of a good time?

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I’m the founder of this community and the author of two books: THE SECRET LIVES OF INTROVERTS, a manifesto for all the “quiet ones,” and SENSITIVE, an Amazon Best Book of the Year. An educator and a journalist, I’ve been featured in the NY Times, the Washington Post, Oprah Daily, the Guardian, and more. I started Introvert, Dear in 2013 because I wanted to write about what it was like being an introvert living in an extrovert’s world. My mission is simple: to empower introverts and sensitive people to embrace their strengths — and to start seeing their nature as a good thing. Since embracing my own introversion and sensitivity, I live a pleasantly boring life with my son in St. Paul, Minnesota.