Introverts see social situations differently {Quote of the Week}

If you’re an introvert, you probably see social situations differently than extroverts. You may shudder at the thought of hanging out in large groups, going to big parties, or even making a telephone call. These activities can quickly drain you, because they’re taxing on your sensitive system. Yet for extroverts, these are opportunities to fulfill their social needs and get energized. Sophia Dembling, author of The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World, explains:

In some very essential ways, introverts and extroverts see things differently. The small talk that binds the world together is music to extroverts’ ears but a racket to introverts’. A big party might look like a thousand new friends to an extrovert, but like a waste of time (at best) to an introvert. The ring of a telephone might sound like an opportunity to an extrovert, but like an interruption to an introvert. An evening without plans is bliss to introverts but social failure to extroverts. Introverts might consider a cell phone a ball and chain, but it’s a lifeline for extroverts. Team-building exercises look like arcane torture to introverts, but they look like team-building exercises to extroverts. (I do, of course, speak broadly here. Not all parties look like hell to introverts, nor do all quiet evenings feel like social failure to extroverts.)

What do introverts prefer? Socializing in small groups, or even better, connecting one-on-one. In conversation, we like diving deep, exploring big ideas, and making authentic connections. It’s not that we don’t like socializing, it’s that we do it in a different way.


  • I’m an introvert, and if you don’t mind would like to disagree with the statement, “It’s not that we don’t like socializing, it’s that we do it in a different way.” I am an exception to this statement. I don’t like socializing. At all! Everything written on this page regarding introverts fits me to a ‘T’ except the one I disagree with. I enjoy my alone time more than I enjoy the time spent with even one person. I do have a Chihuahua that I love very much and consider him my only companion and with whom I do enjoy socializing with, but I know we’re talking about people-to-people interaction here, so my social time with my pet doesn’t count.

  • Edison says:

    Thank you. I know I am not alone. 😀

  • I am an introvert who hates crowded interactions too. Sometimes I hate being alone with even one other person. I want to stay quite and stare at things, think and have fun in my head. When I travel, I want to do it alone so that I can have all the time to look out the window. Too bad some people think we are boring (we are, to them not to us)

  • Livia says:

    This is so true for me as well. And it does feel like a waste of time to go to a big party where you don’t talk about anything, just a bunch of random topics put together (small talk). I wrote something fun about the same topic if you would like to read: