I have often reflected on what the challenges would be if my husband were of the extroverted variety. Luckily for me, we are both introverts. Heaven only knows how we ever got out of the house and found each other. But somehow, thankfully, we did.
Here are 14 reasons being married to another introvert is awesome.
(Wondering what an introvert is? Check out this definition and guide.)
1. Neither of you talks just to fill the silence. My husband and I don’t feel the need to natter away at each other unless we really have something to say. We can sit in complete companionable silence one night, then the next night have an in-depth conversation about the state of the world. Either way is good.
2. Date night is every night. Any introvert with young kids knows that sometimes the effort we have to exert in order to actually set up a date night outweighs any possible benefits we would gain from going out into the world for the evening. For us, a perfectly acceptable alternative date night happens every night chilling on the couch together after the kids go to bed. Hanging out, reading together, watching TV, talking about our day… all these things are perfectly acceptable elements of an introvert’s date night. The best kind of date.
3. No one is making any plans. I imagine, if you have an extroverted partner, they would ask on a fairly regular basis to go out. With you. And the backyard doesn’t count, unless you first invite some friends or family over to fill it. So, one huge benefit of an introvert-introvert relationship is that no one in our house is making any big plans. Sure, we occasionally go out with friends, but those nights are few and far between. Otherwise, it’s date night again. At home.
4. Hanging out together is a calm experience. Because we don’t have to interact even if we’re in the same room. Neither person stresses the other out because we’re both mellow and quiet.
5. Your partner will often agree with your decision on take out vs. going out. Very rarely will either of us choose to go to a restaurant when we have this perfectly good thing called take-out. You can wear your cozies and eat on the couch. Was there ever any contest?
6. Most nights are spent watching Netflix at home. And if you like the same types of shows then there may be binge-watching involved. With your cozies, on the couch. Hmmm, I’m sensing a theme here.
7. Both of you have the same conflicted feelings over outings. I never have to explain to my partner why I don’t want to do something. He “gets” me, because he feels the exact same way. We may actually enjoy the outing in the long run, but we both need coaxing to venture forth.
8. You look at each other and laugh when one of you observes that you don’t have many friends. Society says that we should have lots of friends, so I feel like I’m supposed to feel badly that we don’t have a big social network. But when I have a little chuckle about it with my husband, I stop feeling the heavy weight of society’s pressure. We are happy, so who cares?
9. Your partner understands your panic when someone says they’ll be over in 15 minutes. Even though you may be happy to see whoever is dropping by, your partner realizes that your mind needs a few minutes to reorient itself to this sudden change of events. And that’s because their mind needs time to adjust, too.
10. You are each other’s best friend. When you have a best friend who you have to make no effort whatsoever to see every day—but who also will not care if you totally ignore them in favor of your book—you know you’ve got it made.
11. Your partner doesn’t make you feel guilty about saying no to social events. I can only imagine how much pressure an introvert would feel to go to a party or gathering if they were in a relationship with an extrovert. The problem for introverts is when we do go out frequently, we are stretched to our breaking point, but when we stay home, we often feel guilty about it. There are definitely ways to compromise with an extroverted partner, but I can imagine it would require time, negotiation, and a little give-and-take from both people.
12. You can recharge your introvert battery even when the two of you are together. This is the very best thing about being with another introvert. Your home is a place of comfort and solace. The two of you can be together and alone at the same time—in a good way.
13. Someone really “gets” you. Nobody understands an introvert better than another introvert. Nobody else but another introvert realizes that we aren’t broken, weird, or abnormal because we like quiet and solitude. When you have another introvert as your partner, you can enjoy being out and about among people, and know that you can come home afterward to your little cocoon and recharge.
14. You never feel lonely. Because your partner is almost always home. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I suppose it depends on your relationship. It’s a good thing for me.
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Image credit: @willduncan via Twenty20