The Morning Routine of an INFP Personality Type

IntrovertDear.com morning routine INFP

Wake up. Decide to stay in bed for a while because it’s so soft and warm in bed, and outside the bed, reality awaits. Proceed to spend the next thirty minutes daydreaming.

Realize that you now have half an hour less to spend getting ready. Reluctantly get out of bed and stretch. Life is good. You have a whole new day to enjoy.

Catch sight of your bad hair day in the mirror and decide that life is not good. Brush hair, slowly and gently at first but then quickly and harshly as you lose patience. Brush teeth, repeating routine. Wonder why your breath smells so bad. Remember that you forgot to brush your teeth last night. Make a mental note to put a Post-It by the bed, reminding you to brush teeth before you go to sleep. Promptly forget mental note.

Shower time. Turn the shower on cold, because you read somewhere that cold water is refreshing. Turn the shower on warm, because not freezing is also refreshing. Start to sing “Hallelujah” with heart-wrenching emotion. Realize that you only know one verse. Sing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” with heart-wrenching emotion instead.

Dry off and pick out outfit. Spend several minutes holding a philosophical debate with yourself over which is more important for clothing: attractiveness or functionality. Decide that attractiveness is a social construct so functionality wins. Also, functionality is comfier.

Time for makeup. Spend five minutes staring into your own eyes in the mirror, trying to figure out if they’re more gray or green, and whether they more resemble mist rising over a forest or a calm lake in a fog.

COFFEE. At last. The moment you woke up for. Now you can finally start to function.

Realize you were being overly optimistic when you pour ice water into your breakfast cereal by accident instead of milk. Try to convince yourself that cereal with water really isn’t that bad, if you don’t think of it as cereal and instead think of it as some other kind of food, like a soup.

Brush teeth again and wonder why you brushed them before breakfast anyway when you knew you’d need to brush them again afterwards.

Wonder why so much of life is spent repeating simple actions such as brushing teeth or eating or sleeping again and again and again, every day. Try to figure out a way that you could brush your teeth once and be finished with it forever. Realize that the only way that would work is if you died immediately after brushing your teeth, or else ate via tube for the rest of your life. Decide it probably isn’t worth it. Probably.

Look through your emails quickly. Google the definition of a word used in one of the emails. Google that word’s etymology. Research Middle English. Try to figure out how your name would have been spelled and pronounced back then. Google the history of your last name. Be unsure whether to be amused or embarrassed by the fact that apparently your name originally meant “bastard offspring.”

Wonder why society used to, and in some cases still does, frown on children born out of marriage. Consider writing an angry letter to the editor explaining the unfairness of that, or perhaps a book that highlights the hypocrisy of a society that punishes children when their parents go against traditional morals.

Question why you were never interested in that issue until you realized your last name meant bastard. Is it bad that you were never concerned about it until you realized its personal impact? Shouldn’t you be equally concerned about fighting for causes that do not have personal impact? Is fighting for the right cause still right if you fight for selfish reasons? Or are you even being selfish? You’ve never been called out for having ancestors who were born out of wedlock. Is it just that learning your name’s meaning brought it to your awareness while before you had been “aware” of it but not really aware of it? Are you a terrible selfish human or a generous unselfish one? HOW CAN YOU KNOW WHICH YOU ARE?

Re-analyze your entire life and actions for the twelfth time this week.

Decide that, on balance, you’re probably somewhat of a good person. Then again, that’s what a bad person would say, too. Decide that screw this, you’ll just try to be a good person and hope that you have been one so far. It’s impossible to be objective about oneself.

But shouldn’t one at least try to be objective about oneself? Or would the inherent futility of that only succeed in deluding one into believing that one’s subjectivity is actually objectivity?

Brain. Ssh. You’re overthinking again.

Yes, but isn’t overthinking preferable to underthinking?

Brain. BE QUIET.

Wonder if it’s normal to hold dialogues with your brain.

Start to google that.

Remember that your job starts in fifteen minutes and you need to leave now.

Grab another cup of coffee and a spare spiral notebook, which you will use when writing your new book on the illegitimacy of the societal view of “illegitimate” children. Head out the door.

Go back in and grab your keys and head out the door again.

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    • phil

      wow. i stumbled onto this site this morning and feel like ive found home…these articles are ridiculously on the money.

    • Jesse

      OK, I’ve dried my tears and cleaned my keyboard of the coffee I spit out laughing…Thank you for this!

      As an INFJ, I can attest to a morning routine that is scarily similar to this. Only things to change would be that as a guy with a shaved head, bad hair days are outside of my realm – and my morning earworm is way more esoteric in it’s picks for the shower playlist…

    • Karen Stalkfleet

      Finally a place full of people that understand the ridiculous amount of thoughts I have every morning. I can’t believe how incredibly accurate this article is. It’s also nice to know that I’m not the only one thinking about writing books on random injustices that come up while I’m thinking about 1,000 different other things.

    • Lisa Zahn

      Oh, I had so much fun reading this! It’s so, so true of us INFPs. I’m glad it’s not just me!

    • Andrea Christensen

      Hahahahaha

    • Kelly Stohl

      snort….I am dying laughing…this is so me! I exhaust myself with my brain conversations. It never shuts up.

    • Maida

      You read me like a book! how amazing! I am writing this, drinking my third cup of coffee and with a pile of things to do outside but I don’t want to leave the house xD

    • njguy54

      All my life I’ve found that I really need to ease into my mornings, especially since I’m not naturally a morning person. I follow a routine for the sake of efficiency and punctuality, but I still need to be careful not to get sucked into a black hole like email, news or some nonsense online. One of the first things I do in the morning is check my calendar to get in my head everything that will be going on that day (the iPhone’s “Today” page is my best friend here, as I can put all my vital info in one place; I’m sure there’s an equivalent for Android). I used to watch TV news in the morning, and use the news segments and commercial breaks to pace myself.

      I’ve also found that meditation — if only for a few minutes — helps slow down the “monkey mind” of thinking about a zillion things at once. If I think of something I need to get done that day, I create a reminder so I can “offload” it and deal later (I use several reminder and to-do apps for different purposes). Overall, following the rhythm of a morning routine helps quiet my mind and prepare me for the day ahead.

    • Wendy

      Hi Emily E. I love your Morning Routine of an INFP. So refreshing to know others have this much going on in their head before leaving home for work or any activity. I needed to see the humor and hilarity, thanks.

    • LokiLover

      Bahahahaha!! I love everything about this! …And then on your break you begin researching the historical societal restrictions against bastardized children and you order a book from your local library that’s over 600 pages long that’s sort of related to the topic and then you’re reading that for the next two weeks because you HAVE to feel knowledgeable about a subject before you can even begin writing about it and at some point during your research you realize how widespread the problem is and then you despair of ever writing ANYTHING because where the hell do you START with all this and…

      …Or at least that’s what happened to me when I began researching the continual societal prejudices against people of color…

    • Anne Hart

      Not my INFP morning routine. I don’t have to get out of bed and am annoyed by ringing phones. Want to keep out the world….so I can look at videos of what life was like during the last ice age.

    • Divya Narasimhan

      Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this!! I could never explain to the people around me why I’m so lost in my head , and am ‘oh-so-quiet’ all the time. Which is hilarious because my brain never shuts up, and I end up scaring myself a lot. It was so good to randomly stumble on this -(was also on a morning adventure in Google land)- thank you!

    • Kader Akpinar

      The “green or gray” debate with the eyes was scarily on point! I could especially relate to the love of coffee and overthinking. So glad to know I’m not alone 🙂

    • TLeah Edwards

      Reading this and thinking, someone’s been creeping on me… now I should sleep 😴 😅

    • This is frighteningly real. 😭

    • Marriam Miles

      Realize you were being overly optimistic when you pour ice water into your breakfast cereal by accident instead of milk. Try to convince yourself that cereal with water really isn’t that bad, if you don’t think of it as cereal and instead think of it as some other kind of food, like a soup……lol yea I’ve done that a lot lol

    • Anji Todd

      Pretty much..yup…

    • Matie Leaves

      It all sounds reasonable to me! 😉

    • Holy crap, I’m not an INFP (might be an INFJ, not sure), but this was so relatable. Your internal dialogue had me cracking up. 😂 I am CONSTANTLY overthinking.

    • M.

      LOVE this article! Apart from a few differences (I don’t drink coffee) this is me all the way through! All those thoughts and how they just seem to develop into thoughts that don’t have anything to do with what I was thinking in the first place is why I’m always so absent-minded. Also – the amount of mental notes I’ve told myself to remember and have forgotten two seconds after has probably passed 1 million by now!

    • Rebekah W

      This made me laugh so hard!! ahahhaah BRIAN BE QUIET. really relatable thanks!

    • Boop

      wow, eerily on point. the never-ending pondering, the debates, optimism and pessimism that only existed in the mind. and the touch of “absent-mind” of never ending possibilities that leads to another and ended forgotten what was the initial search’s answer. infp indeed 🙂

    • George Sand

      My first stop was googling “name that means ‘bastard offspring'” I returned to finish the article some 20 minutes later.

    • LOL I love this post, so true! Ok I’m not QUITE that bad (I pour orange juice into my cereal and usually remember to brush my teeth ;-)) My brain rabbit hole dives tend to happen late at night for some reason, in the morning I am more of a zombie 🙂 I do always wonder if it takes me 100 times longer to get ready than most humans, I think after relating to this post so much the answer is definitely yes!

    • Kaven Bégin

      LOL The truth of this makes me so happy. While i may not do all of this in this exact manner, i certainly understand what it’s like. As a fellow INFP i totally relate.

    • Gathoni Ciss

      yeah, that’s me every morning..

    • ApeironArt

      I laughed my ass off to this like a lunatic. The most I have laughed at anything in a long time. Its nice not to be crazy alone! Thanks to the author, Emily, for the genuinely awesome article.

    • So this is what we do… on a daily basis. I still can’t get over the fact that you just described my rituals in details. Except for the coffee part. And I can only do the daydream after being awake at weekend, so yeah, there you have it.