You don’t necessarily need to hear an introvert speak in order to consider them present and involved.
Reserved, anxious, or just not willing to talk? Introverts tend to be quiet; if you’re one, you’ve probably had people point out how you aren’t very vocal. In fact, it seems they love to say you’re “too” quiet.
On the other hand, if you’re an extrovert, having someone in the group who just doesn’t seem to reply to all the answers, or laugh at all the jokes, might make you uncomfortable. What if this person is judging you? Or somehow you insulted them?
So, is every introvert quiet? Nope. Being quiet or shy is a personality trait that does happen to be common in introverts. However, not every introvert is shy!
Furthermore, introverts tend to be cautious around people they don’t know well. It may take them some time to get used to others, but once they do, they can be as equally talkative as extroverts.
Below, I highlight some of the reasons we introverts may be more quiet than others.
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9 ‘Loud’ Reasons Why Introverts Are So Quiet
1. They’re observant and pick up on the subtle things.
Introverts are generally adept at critical thinking and analyzing ideas. No matter where they go, they’re always looking to read the room and grasp all the little things in their surroundings.
For example, when someone is talking in a group of friends, the introvert may not only look at the person who is speaking, but will also try to understand everyone’s reaction toward that person.
In addition, even when you’re only speaking to an introvert, you can expect them to try to understand everything you say in detail. They’ll not only listen to what you’re saying, but also “listen” to what you’re not saying: They’ll pay attention to your body language, the tone of your voice, your facial expressions, and so on.
Remember, introverts won’t give a quick reply until they’ve reeled everything in, which may make them seem reticent.
2. They will only speak when they have something to say.
When it comes to communicating with others, introverts may see no reason to speak just for the sake of speaking.
Even when it’s their “turn” to speak, introverts will ask themselves if what they’re going to say will affect the conversation. If they surmise it won’t, or the conversation will go as usual even if they don’t add their opinion, they may not think there is a point in speaking.
3. They don’t want to miss anything.
When talking to an introvert, the silence from the other side can sometimes make you think you’re boring them. But the truth can sometimes be the exact opposite — the person can be so interested in what you’re saying that they want to dissect every idea you’re putting forth.
An introvert’s thoughts are like a puzzle — they’re always looking to connect the dots. When something happens, they will want to know who caused it, its reason, and its future implications.
Thus, if the introverted listener isn’t replying, but is making direct eye contact with open ears, you should be glad since you may have the perfect audience.
4. They’re highly creative and imaginative.
There’s a reason there are so many introverts in the creative sector. They’re good at daydreaming and imagining things; thus, they may try to paint a mental picture of everything they hear.
When you tell an introvert a story, you better believe they already have set a stage in their head. They’ve created the characters and may even be thinking about the surroundings, the weather, and all the little details.
For many introverts, hearing someone talk is like reading a book or watching a movie. When such interesting things are going on inside their heads, talking may be kind of boring.
Do you ever struggle to know what to say?
As an introvert, you actually have the ability to be an amazing conversationalist — even if you’re quiet and hate small talk. To learn how, we recommend this online course from our partner Michaela Chung. Click here to check out the Introvert Conversation Genius course.
5. They may be drained and tired.
Research shows that introverts have more cortical arousal than extroverts due to high levels of electrical activity in their brain. This arousal is associated with many characteristics, like increased wakefulness, vigilance, and so forth.
In other words, introverts’ brains are always working, usually more than needed, making them mentally tired. Plus, all the social stimulation they experience drains their social battery.
If, after a long day, you see an introvert not willing to talk, it may mean you need to give them some space. But don’t worry, they should be back soon once they have some alone time to recharge.
6. They like to keep things private.
Introverts tend to be private people. It’s not that they don’t trust you; it’s just that when they feel like they’re sharing a lot, they may feel emotionally vulnerable, which can be even worse when they overthink.
You may notice that introverts can be reluctant to share information about themselves. Now, this may sometimes be frustrating, but all you need to do is give them some time. They’ll open up when they feel like it, i.e., when they get to know you better. They don’t just tell anyone anything!
Look at the flip side, though — since they tend to be private, introverts are the best people to share your secrets with.
7. They’d rather listen than speak.
Introverts delight in new information that sparks their curiosity and imagination. During a conversation, introverts might calmly look at you and encourage you to keep talking by giving you nonverbal cues, such as by nodding their head or squinting their eyes a bit as they process what you’re saying.
Probably the occasional “Hmmm…” will be heard (ever-so-softly, of course). Now, to many, this may seem like non-engagement. But to an introvert, this is actually loud and active engagement!
You don’t necessarily need to hear an introvert speak in order to consider them present and involved. Communication is a multi-level phenomenon, of which the verbal level is perhaps the smallest. Introverts don’t feel they need to make noise just for the sake of making a placeholder sound to be heard.
Besides, by talking too much, you don’t learn anything new, which means you might’ve missed some buried treasure in the other person’s mind. This is a high price to pay if that person is particularly interesting!
8. They are quiet so they can hear their inner “loudness.”
By inner loudness, I mean all the intriguing thoughts, unprocessed emotions, overstimulation, overthinking, and whatever else goes on inside an introvert’s head.
Since introverts already have a lot of inner stimulation, like the numerous gripping vivid thoughts in their mind’s eye, the outer and inner stimulation easily stack up on each other. Introverts need to attend to their inner world throughout the day in order to process everything.
Otherwise, everything will stack so much — to the point that it causes a discordant inner noise (so to speak), which can lead to the introvert being overstimulated.
To be able to stay productive throughout their day, and manage their energy adequately, introverts need to listen to their inner world and prevent getting to the point of overwhelm. They do this by retreating mentally more often during the day and performing a few small bursts of maintenance introspection.
9. It’s just who they are.
The world population is close to about 8 billion. What makes us awesome is how different each one of us is from everyone else.
Some people are just naturally not inclined to talk. Of course, they may like to be around people, but still prefer to talk less.
Here, acceptance is key. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, all you need to realize is that people can be a part of the group even if they don’t speak much. There is nothing “wrong” with them — we each just have different goals when it comes to communication.
An introvert’s quietness is a huge part of our mysterious allure! Learn more about our introverted nature on my blog, infjmalepsychology.com.
You might like:
- How Introverts Can Set Boundaries With Overly Chatty Coworkers
- How to Advance Your Career the ‘Introvert Way’
- Are You an Introvert, a Highly Sensitive Person, or Both?
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