Chances are, if you’re an INFP, one of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, you struggle to relate to your peers. As an INFP, you’re naturally drawn to depth and connection. Like me, you quickly get tired of — or even frustrated with — “shallow” social settings.
This isn’t to say you don’t enjoy company or have some good friends, but they are generally few and far between. And even though you love your close friends dearly, you’ll likely relate to these five rants. INFPs, let me know your thoughts in the comments.
(What’s your personality type? We recommend this free personality assessment.)
Relatable Rants of an INFP
1. Yes, that’s my ideal Friday, and I don’t care if it’s “antisocial.”
You’ve probably heard it a thousand times from your friends. “Why would you rather stay in than come drink with us?” “Are you mad at me — is that why you won’t come?” “I’m worried about you, you never want to hang out.” And the list goes on.
Like me, you may have even resorted to making excuses as to why you’re suddenly too busy to fulfill those plans you agreed to last week. But here’s the thing, as an INFP, it’s okay to have nights in. INFPs are introverts, after all. That’s how you recharge and make sure you have the time you need to develop yourself.
Explain to your friends that you really do appreciate them inviting you out, but a nice, relaxing evening on your own is how you catch your breath. They may not understand right away, but with time and consistency from you, some of them will get it — they’re the ones worth keeping around, anyway.
2. Getting stuck between everyone’s feelings is exhausting.
For INFPs, there’s nothing worse than feeling as though you’ve inconvenienced or harmed someone, especially if you care about them. Unfortunately for us, this situation seems inevitable. Here’s why:
As INFPs, we’re naturally in tune with those around us, and we make great sounding boards. Because of this, people easily confide in and trust us. But when too many people start using you as their personal therapist, you end up in a conflict of interest, where too many folks are asking favors from you, and you have to let someone down.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the solution to this treacherous feeling of inevitable disappointment, other than the solace of reminding yourself that you’ve gone miles further than most people would for their friends. And if things get to be too much, there’s no shame in removing yourself from the position of martyr. After all, you need to take care of yourself.
3. Just because I trust my gut doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respect me.
In my college years, I started becoming more aware of this point. At a time when we were making big life decisions, my friends would agonize over spreadsheets and pros and cons lists. They would use these methods for everything from picking the right job to where to live, and sometimes even what to eat for dinner.
Me, on the other hand? My mind changed every minute. I would dream of being an automotive engineer but then realize I was not feeling fulfilled with the idea of that path. Things worked out in the end, but I was left with doubts about trusting my gut. Now I’m a recent graduate who runs my own business, but most people I work with still don’t accept “it felt right” as my justification. Even though to us INFPs, our gut really is what motivates us.
If you’re like me, you feel a lack of respect from your peers because you “don’t think things through” or are a “wild card.” Truth is, you’re far from that. You have a strong sense of right and wrong, and more often than not, harnessing your gut feeling ends well for those involved. So trust your gut and tell your friends to name a time it has led you wrong.
4. I am full of contradictions — get used to it or move on.
Yes, I ride bulls. Yes, I love to camp. And heck, a Saturday night rom-com and glass of wine sounds right up my alley, too. No, it doesn’t make any sense, but it’s me. Nobody would guess that a tough-as-nails cowboy who longs to hop on a 2,000-pound bull on the weekend would have a deeply sentimental side and writes articles like this one, and INFP, I’m guessing you’re not much different.
As introverted-intuitive-feeling-perceivers, we’re naturally drawn to whatever “feels” right or good, meaning order and convention sometimes go right out the window — which is why you likely have a few beliefs or hobbies that seem to be in completely different realms of this world. And this may make you appear scattered or contradictory. Odds are people get frustrated with you because you don’t make sense.
And frankly, you don’t, but if you’re getting called out for it, don’t fret. This means you’re trusting your intuition and using your INFP superpowers effectively. Keep it up!
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5. I’m sorry to quit this hobby, but there are 176 other ones I need to pursue.
Similar to the last point, you likely have many different interests. I have countless unfinished projects and books I’ve just left in the dust. It can be frustrating to feel like you can’t stick with things or commit to finishing what you started, but the attraction of that latest “phase” is just too great to ignore. So you move on and start something new wholeheartedly. Then in 2-3 months time, you go through the same cycle.
As an INFP, this means you’re embracing your exploratory side, and that’s crucial to personal growth. This “lack of focus” allows you to grow and gain life experiences that make you more in tune with the world around you. Yet you still can’t shake the guilt of quitting.
To overcome this, make a note of what you learned from the experience. It makes it easier to move on and focus on the next big thing when you have closure.
As INFPs, our minds operate a little differently than what society expects. We don’t reason things out the way most people do, and as a result, we may end up feeling pressured or misunderstood.
This makes it all the more important to reassure yourself that it’s okay to be different. By embracing how your unique mind operates, you’re truly setting yourself up for a more fulfilling and rewarding life.
You might like:
- 8 Problems Only INFPs Will Understand
- 5 Tips for INFPs Who Are Constantly Doubting Themselves
- What Each Introverted Myers-Briggs Personality Type Is Lying About
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