Dating comes with a million things to fret about: Which topics to discuss, which topics to avoid, what to wear, who pays, and most importantly, what to do. Whether you’re married or playing the dating game, figuring out what to do can be a persistent nuisance — especially after you’ve done “dinner and a movie” for a few rounds.
Another layer of difficulty can appear when your date is an introvert. Dating one of us can seem to limit the scope of potential date activities because you probably axed anything involving loud crowds and extensive socializing. And, to the dismay of many introverts, there are only so many times you can have takeout on the couch together without keeling over with dissatisfaction from the monotonous routine.
So here are 19 date ideas. If you’re an introvert in charge of making the plan, or a thoughtful extrovert who is considering your date’s needs, there’s something on this list that will appeal to every type of introvert:
Anime and chill: You could stick to Netflix, but let’s be real, more than likely your introvert has watched everything worth watching on Netflix already. Anime is imaginative and versatile, plus some of the English translations are totally worth laughing at together.
Lecture series: The intellectual’s version of a movie date. Find a lecture series at your nearest university by someone or about something you both enjoy. Afterwards you can analyze, critique, or debate to your heart’s content.
Book browsing: Casually looking at piles of books with your significant other might seem yawn-worthy, but chances are the bookstore is one of your introvert’s favorite places. And guess what? Exploring books can be fun! So engage in that fun together, because it’s a chance to learn about each other.
Backyard stargazing: On a night with a clear sky, gather some blankets and find a spot with as little light pollution as possible. Minor astronomy knowledge is preferable, but not necessary; you can make up your own constellations! Add to the evening with a tent and campfire for more literal (and figurative) sparks.
Lover’s scavenger hunt: Creating a scavenger’s hunt might seem like a lot of work, but it can actually be quite simple, like placing notes near their morning coffee or hidden within the pages of their current read. This can be a charming twist leading up to one of your classic activities together.
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Christmas light viewing: While this option can only be completed during “the most wonderful time of the year,” it’s a simple way to unwind together while indulging in the more positive aspects of the holiday season. All you have to do is take a cozy stroll through the neighborhood. Make it merrier with some hot cocoa or eggnog.
Geocaching: All around the world, there are thousands of tiny hidden containers with a slip of paper and other fun objects that are waiting to be found using the app. They can be impossible to spot, despite the hints provided, but this can easily become a fierce competition in which the loser buys the winner ice cream.
An amusement park: Hanging out at a crowded, noisy amusement park may not seem like an introverted activity. However, there is something so lovely about being completely absorbed in each another’s company while also being surrounded by people. Research days when the park is expected to be less busy — your introvert will greatly appreciate this.
Haunted house ghost hunt: Spooky things have a different air with a romantic interest around. This can best be completed around Halloween, when corn mazes and intentional haunted houses are plentiful. During any time of the year, seek out haunted areas nearby and learn a little history. Here’s a list of 13 tours in the U.S. to get you started. Ouija board is optional.
Nature Enthusiast Introverts
Fruit or flower picking: This goes without much explanation, but it depends on what is in season in your area. Ideal for those who are vegan, or for those contemplating starting their own garden. It’s also ideal for anyone interested in unleashing their inner Maria Von Trapp and running through flower-filled hillsides joyfully.
Floating: If you don’t have a river nearby — a clean creek, lake, ocean, or even a kiddie pool will do if it’s large enough. The theme of this date is relaxation. Floating is incredibly therapeutic and can be just what you need to either rest peacefully in silence or connect in some thought-provoking conversation. If you’re feeling extra adventurous, try floating in a sensory deprivation tank.
Horseback riding: There’s a reason horseback riding is so common for a romance novel cover. Horses are calming and serene, yet they can also surprise you with their power, so they’re the perfect symbol for the introvert. Trot alongside one another before riding off into the sunset.
Found object art project: Many couples will take on a DIY or craft together, but this is a little different. Using the art movements Dadaism and Arte Povera as inspiration, create your own found object art project. Search for objects literally anywhere. Then, paste them to a canvas or superglue them to form a sculpture. It can be silly or serious. However it turns out, it represents the melding of you and your date’s minds.
Music class: Chances are you both enjoy music. And, chances are, one of you plays an instrument. Teaching and sharing a skill is an excellent way to connect while satisfying the need to create. If neither of you play an instrument, take a class together. This can apply to dance, poetry, theater, or any of the arts!
Art museum: Exploring an art museum is ideal for a day when you want to be mostly silent together. It’s ideal for a day when you both crave inspiration. And it’s the ideal date for indulging in lots of handholding.
“Home Is Where the Heart Is” Introverts
Iron Chef, Home Edition: Pick a favored ingredient, theme, or style of dish, and allez cuisine! The catch is that you both have to judge and provide the commentary, so there will be bias. But if you have to make dinner anyway, might as well make it interesting.
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Fort making: Yes, really. Childish, maybe. But who can resist reliving those precious moments of childhood innovation? Work together to construct a high quality fort any babysitter would be proud of. Forts just so happen to be the perfect place for some cuddling.
Marathon food tasting: This idea combines the concepts behind wine tasting and pub crawls and brings it to the comforts of home where your inner food critic can properly take shape. Purchase as much of a certain food as you can find: chocolate, cupcakes, craft beer, sushi, coffee, fine cheese, etc. Taste (devour) until you’re both obscenely full. This could get pricey, but it’s all in the name of science and fulfillment. You could also turn this into a game night by making it a guessing game with the addition of blindfolds.
The Pre-Date or After-Date
Meander: Walk together. Turn left or right at random and explore areas you wouldn’t normally go. Even familiar places have the possibility to hold surprises. There’s not much to it, leaving lots of room for impressive conversation.
Just kidding! Group dates are not recommended for introverts. They will likely only be completed by your introvert for occasional circumstances, or if they really, really like you. Recognize that this is a sacrifice, so please don’t take their agreeing to come for granted. Don’t forget to give your introvert ample time for recuperation alone after extensive group dates, particularly after larger events such as parties or weddings.
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