The secret to happy relationships with introverts {Quote of the Week}

ByJenn Granneman

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. For introverts, this cliche is actually somewhat true. Although we cherish our loved ones and enjoy spending time with them, we need plenty of time away from them, too. It’s not personal — our loved ones shouldn’t see it as rejection. For us, being alone is simply our way of recharging. Being “out in the world” and with people drains our “social” battery, leaving us feeling exhausted, cranky, and out-of-sorts. Solitude pumps life-giving energy back into us. Getting enough alone time is the secret ingredient we need to maintain happy, balanced relationships with others.

Check out our tips for dating an introvert.

Interestingly, after some alone time, introverts tend to crave the presence of others again. This is when we feel the most primed and ready for conversation and intimacy. Brenda Knowles, creator of the Space2Live blog, explains:

Time away from you makes us want you. Introverts need time alone to quiet their buzzing, ever-active minds.  Stillness allows the energizing space within to expand making room for new stimulation, ideas and relationships.

A session of stillness makes me remember what I love about people. It allows the connection craving to surface. Alone time connects me with myself on a very specific yet universal level. I see my values and strengths and how they serve a purpose in the world — big picture time. In the end I feel a desire to share all of this goodness with someone else.

What do you need to feel ready to connect with others?

Are you an introvert? What’s your personality type? We recommend this free, quick test from our partner Personality Hacker.

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Read this: 21 Undeniable Signs That You’re an Introvert


I’m the founder of this community and the author of two books: THE SECRET LIVES OF INTROVERTS, a manifesto for all the “quiet ones,” and SENSITIVE, an Amazon Best Book of the Year. An educator and a journalist, I’ve been featured in the NY Times, the Washington Post, Oprah Daily, the Guardian, and more. I started Introvert, Dear in 2013 because I wanted to write about what it was like being an introvert living in an extrovert’s world. My mission is simple: to empower introverts and sensitive people to embrace their strengths — and to start seeing their nature as a good thing. Since embracing my own introversion and sensitivity, I live a pleasantly boring life with my son in St. Paul, Minnesota.