The secret to happy relationships with introverts {Quote of the Week}

introvert secret to relationships

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. For introverts, this cliche is actually somewhat true. Although we cherish our loved ones and enjoy spending time with them, we need plenty of time away from them, too. It’s not personal — our loved ones shouldn’t see it as rejection. For us, being alone is simply our way of recharging. Being “out in the world” and with people drains our “social” battery, leaving us feeling exhausted, cranky, and out-of-sorts. Solitude pumps life-giving energy back into us. Getting enough alone time is the secret ingredient we need to maintain happy, balanced relationships with others.

Interestingly, after some alone time, introverts tend to crave the presence of others again. This is when we feel the most primed and ready for conversation and intimacy. Brenda Knowles, creator of the Space2Live blog, explains:

Time away from you makes us want you. Introverts need time alone to quiet their buzzing, ever-active minds.  Stillness allows the energizing space within to expand making room for new stimulation, ideas and relationships.

A session of stillness makes me remember what I love about people. It allows the connection craving to surface. Alone time connects me with myself on a very specific yet universal level. I see my values and strengths and how they serve a purpose in the world — big picture time. In the end I feel a desire to share all of this goodness with someone else.

What do you need to feel ready to connect with others?

Are you an introvert? What’s your personality type? We recommend this free, quick test from our partner Personality Hacker.

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2 Comments

  • The phrase “session of stillness” is lovely. I agree wholeheartedly that we crave time with people we care about (after some good alone time). I think that’s a common misconception about introverts–that we’re socially awkward or hate people or want to be alone all the time. I enjoy connecting with people even though I still seek my energy from within.The one job I had where I had my very own office was the loneliest and most boring job of my career. I’m very outgoing and nurturing when I’m doing something I love that helps people like teaching or coaching.

    Maybe a solution for some introverts who are in relationships or families with extroverted people can simply explain the reason for their need to be alone sometimes.

  • I am very out going guy with a very introvert girlfriend. She doesn’t like to go to parties much or hang our with my friends. How can I introduce her to my friends and or make her part of my friend group? I really love my girlfriend and sometimes she will go to parties and not have a good time cause she does not know how to interact. How can i help her have a good time at a party or these type of situations?

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