Help! How Do I Talk to Girls?

ByAmy Krueger

Ask an IntrovertQ: I live in Indonesia, I’m 22 years old, and I’m an introvert. I really need your advice.

How do I approach a girl? I have never had a girlfriend, and now I think I like a girl who goes to college with me, but I do not even know her name yet. I really do not have any confidence to ask her directly.

Help me please! ~Achmad

A: The biggest piece of advice I can give you about approaching a girl (especially if this is new for you) is that everyone feels nervous and anxious in your position! My guess is that if you were to talk with this girl, she would feel the same way. We all have fears and insecurities, but remember you have a lot to offer. All of us, even those of us who might feel shy or awkward, bring the gift of ourselves to every interaction we have.

I would recommend approaching her in conversation regarding your shared academic program. This will give you a chance to get to know more about her personality, and you will be talking about things you likely feel comfortable with. A study date or attending a lecture on campus could be another great way to spend time getting to know her. Most introverts prefer meeting with people in quieter settings, so pick a place where you feel comfortable.

If you make the effort to reach out to this girl, you likely won’t regret it. Even if it doesn’t lead anywhere, you can view it as great practice for the next time around.

Good luck, and keep us at I, D posted!

You’ve got questions. We’ve got answers. Email your questions about love, relationships, and introversion/high sensitivity to [email protected]. We’ll only publish your first name, so go ahead, ask the embarrassing stuff.

Amy has spent the better part of the past two decades exploring the inner and outer landscapes of our planet’s wild places and the equally fascinating human spirit. She has worked for several wilderness education organizations and has been employed as a mental health therapist. Her most current role, mother to 8-month-old Ansel, is her most rewarding and challenging to date. Amy is a contributing writer for Introvert, Dear.